{"id":1156,"date":"2015-02-22T03:53:57","date_gmt":"2015-02-22T02:53:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/?p=1156"},"modified":"2015-03-01T00:41:09","modified_gmt":"2015-02-28T23:41:09","slug":"krutomyval-kua-pia-pdel-posrana","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/?p=1156","title":{"rendered":"Krutom\u00fdval: kua pi*a p*del posran\u00e1!"},"content":{"rendered":"

1. Tak sem se dneska zase m\u00e1lem zabil. \u017de bych na to m\u011bl zvl\u00e1\u0161tn\u00ed talent?\u00a0Za\u010dalo to t\u00edm, \u017ee jako ka\u017edej norm\u00e1ln\u00ed chlap pova\u017euji p\u0159edpov\u011b\u010f po\u010das\u00ed za kratochv\u00edli vynalezenou pro m\u00e9n\u011b odoln\u00e9 a zna\u010dn\u011b m\u00e9n\u011b inteligentn\u00ed jedince (\u017eeny<\/em>) a v\u011bnov\u00e1n\u00ed pozornosti takov\u00fdm nesmysl\u016fm je samoz\u0159ejm\u011b pod moj\u00ed velev\u00e1\u017eenou d\u016fstojnost.<\/p>\n

2. Nav\u00edc, ameri\u010dani sou d\u011bsn\u00fd trdla a panik\u00e1\u0159i, a kdykoliv za\u010dne jen trochu sn\u011b\u017eit tak vyhla\u0161ujou lidstvu \u010dtvrtou sv\u011btovou. Tak\u017ee si takovejch vln\u00a0nev\u0161\u00edm\u00e1m, a jedu si po sv\u00e9m, jako kdyby se nechumelilo. Hehe.<\/p>\n

3. Jeliko\u017e z\u00edtra zase re\u017e\u00edruju a pot\u0159eboval sem teda dnes nabral s\u00edly, rozhodl sem se \u017ee si ud\u011bl\u00e1m fakt pohodovej den a vyraz\u00edm autem na v\u00fdlet do jednoho zapad\u00e1kova v Jersey, kde dle internetu jako v jedin\u00e9m kin\u011b v okol\u00ed asi sta mil hrajou Indick\u00fd t\u0159\u00edhodinov\u00fd spekt\u00e1kl, kterej sem cht\u011bl vid\u011bt, proto\u017ee se nat\u00e1\u010del na m\u00edstech, kter\u00e9 z Indie (kde sem nikdy nebyl<\/em>) d\u016fv\u011brn\u011b zn\u00e1m.<\/p>\n

4. Kdy\u017e sem vyr\u00e1\u017eel sm\u011brem tam, tak padal takovej sympatickej pra\u0161an, na ulic\u00edch bylo trochu kluzko, ano, ale nic alarmuj\u00edc\u00edho.\u00a0O t\u0159i hodiny pozd\u011bji ov\u0161em m\u011b po v\u00fdlezu z kina \u010dekal hotov\u00fd instantn\u00ed armageddon. Sn\u00edh po kolena (kua, kde se tak rychle vzalo tolik sn\u011bhu<\/em>), chumelenice jak z o\u010distce, do toho p\u0159\u00ed\u0161ernej v\u00edtr, m\u00ednus 11, a pluhy v nedohlednu.<\/p>\n

5. \u0158ekl sem si ov\u0161em, \u017ee nep\u0159\u00edzniv\u00fdch meteorologick\u00fdch podm\u00ednek se jen tak nezaleknu, odmrazil sem si auto, shodil z n\u011bho aspo\u0148 tolik sn\u011bhu, abych vid\u011bl trochu na cestu, a vyrazilo se.<\/p>\n

6. Prvn\u00ed kil\u00e1k byl v pohod\u011b. Pak se najednou ale v\u0161echno (fakt v\u0161echno<\/em>) za\u010dalo d\u011bsn\u011b sr\u00e1t. Musel sem sjet z takov\u00e9ho v\u011bt\u0161\u00edho tahu, kter\u00fd sice nebyl prota\u017eenej, ale aspo\u0148 m\u00edrn\u011b proje\u017ed\u011bnej. Ale bohu\u017eel nevedl tam kam sem se chystal jet. Na t\u00e9 men\u0161\u00ed cest\u011b to byl fakt pr\u016fser.<\/span>\u00a0 Sn\u011bhu s ledem tolik, \u017ee tim bu\u010f n\u011b\u0161lo projet a jen se mi prot\u00e1\u010dely kola, nebo to byla takov\u00e1 ta b\u0159e\u010dka, po kter\u00e9 se dalo jen klikat\u011b klouzat.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

7. M\u011bl sem p\u0159ed sebou asi 30 kil\u00e1k\u016f. Na cca 7m\u00e9m kilometru my vypov\u011bd\u011bly slu\u017ebu st\u011bra\u010de. Teda jeden. Ale bohu\u017eel zrovan ten co st\u00edr\u00e1 na stran\u011b \u0159idi\u010de. To bylo fakt hodn\u011b nep\u0159\u00edjemn\u00fd, proto\u017ee jako spolujezdec bych sice aspo\u0148 vid\u011bl, ale zase nezvl\u00e1dl \u0159\u00eddit. Na chvilku sem n\u011bkde zastavil a pokusil se „to spravit<\/em>„, ale kdo \u010dte m\u016fj blog del\u0161\u00ed dobu tak hned v\u00ed, \u017ee moje pokusy o to, d\u011blat n\u011bco rukama, dopadnou v\u017edy tragicky. Ani tentokr\u00e1t se nestala v\u00fdjimka. Tak\u017ee po asi 2 minutov\u00e9m z\u00e1polen\u00ed s nefunk\u010dn\u00edm st\u011bra\u010dem, b\u011bhem kter\u00e9\u017eto chvilky mi od mrazu m\u00e1lem odpadly prsty \u00a0a zamrzlo voko, sem to vzdal a nasedl zp\u011bt do auta, a rozhodl se \u017ee holt do civilizace budu muset dojet tak, \u017ee budu m\u00edt hlavu vystr\u010denou z vokna, a \u0159\u00eddit budu podle toho.<\/p>\n

8. Kurva pro\u010d zrovna dneska ale musela bejt tak pojeban\u00e1 zima? M\u00e1lem sem u toho chc\u00edpnul. A jako na potvoru, a te\u010f fakt nekec\u00e1m, se mi v kin\u011b vybil telefon a Ipad odm\u00edtal fungovat. Z\u0159ejm\u011b ura\u017eenej za to, \u017ee sem ho nechal v aut\u011b na tom mrazu. Byl sem teda zcela bez komunika\u010dn\u00edch prost\u0159edk\u016f a musel sem se sm\u00e1t tomu, \u017ee kdy\u017e tohle vid\u00edm v kin\u011b tak si v\u017edycky \u0159ik\u00e1m „no jasn\u011b, zrovna te\u010fkonc se ti vybije telefon \/ztrat\u00ed sign\u00e1l, to ten sc\u00e9n\u00e1rista nemoh p\u0159ij\u00edt na n\u011bco realisti\u010dt\u011bj\u0161\u00edho<\/em>?“. Ho\u0159ce bych se u t\u011bhle my\u0161lenek b\u00fdval zasm\u00e1l, kdybych se neb\u00e1l, \u017ee d\u00edky tomu na zlomek vte\u0159iny sn\u00ed\u017e\u00edm svoj\u00ed pozornost a zabiju se.<\/p>\n

9. No. Jak vid\u00edte, tak \u017eiju. Ale t\u011bch 30 kilometr\u016f mi trvalo asi hodinu a p\u016fl, m\u00e1m omrzliny nejm\u00e9n\u011b sedmn\u00e1ct\u00e9ho stupn\u011b, a n\u00e1ladu fakt pod psa. Nicm\u00e9n\u011b budu asi muset napsat d\u011bkovn\u00fd dopis do sv\u00e9ho obl\u00edben\u00e9ho r\u00e1dia, nebo\u0165 to bylo jen d\u00edky jejich fakt fantasticky p\u0159\u00edhodn\u00e9 a inspirativ\u00ed hudebn\u00ed skladb\u011b, \u017ee sem p\u0159e\u017eil. V momentu, kdy mi p\u0159i\u0161lo \u017ee je nevyhnuteln\u00e9, \u017ee tam pojdu bu\u010f zimou, nebo t\u00edm, \u017ee tu hlavu zastr\u010d\u00edm a v z\u00e1p\u011bt\u00ed to nap\u00e1l\u00edm do stromu, sem si \u0159ekl, \u017ee nejd\u016fle\u017eit\u011bj\u0161\u00ed je nepodr\u00fdvat s\u00e1m sv\u00e9ho bojov\u00e9ho ducha. Tud\u00ed\u017e nezab\u00fdvat se my\u0161lenkama na to, jak sem v prdeli, a pro\u010d kurva na t\u00fd silnici sem s\u00e1m, kde sou v\u0161ichni ostatn\u00ed, a pro\u010d tu nen\u00ed \u017e\u00e1dn\u00e1 civilizace? Ale to se lehko \u0159ekn\u011b „nemysli na to<\/em>„, h\u016f\u0159 d\u011bl\u00e1, \u017eejo, tak\u017ee sem se rozhodl, \u017ee mus\u00edm ty nutkav\u00e9 my\u0161lenky na jist\u011b brzy nadch\u00e1zej\u00edc\u00ed smrt p\u0159ehlu\u0161it. To byl sp\u00e1sn\u00fd n\u00e1pad, a uk\u00e1zalo se, \u017ee kdy\u017e vohul\u00edm r\u00e1dio na maximum, tak je to takovej rachot, \u017ee p\u0159es n\u011bj nesly\u0161\u00edm tu paniku ve sv\u00e9 hlav\u011b. A \u00a0kdy\u017e sem si k tomu e\u0161t\u011b rozhodl zp\u00edvat, tak sem pak byl i schopen chv\u00edli p\u0159estat obsesivn\u011b opakovat „do ps\u00ed kundy, do ps\u00ed kundy, do ps\u00ed kund<\/em>y“.<\/p>\n

10. Tak\u017ee pokud ste z pozaoce\u00e1nu sly\u0161eli \u0161\u00edlen\u011b bur\u00e1cet nejprve „Stuck in The Middle With You<\/em>„, pak „Bohemian Rhapsody<\/em>„, a nakonec sp\u00e1sn\u00e9 „I Will Survive“<\/em>, tak v\u011bzte, \u017ee to bylo tady vodcud a jen d\u00edky tomu sem se podle m\u011b nakonec doplazil domu relativn\u011b v jednom kuse. Ale te\u010f u\u017e le\u017e\u00edm v posteli, na omrzlin\u00e1ch m\u00e1m teplej ru\u010dn\u00edk, vedle postele ob\u0159\u00ed l\u00e1hev vodky, a snad m\u011b to do z\u00edtra vyl\u00e9\u010d\u00ed. Ale pro p\u0159\u00edpad \u017ee m\u011b to do z\u00edtra zabije, tak: bylo mi s v\u00e1ma hezky a lovu zdar.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

1. Tak sem se dneska zase m\u00e1lem zabil. \u017de bych na to m\u011bl zvl\u00e1\u0161tn\u00ed talent?\u00a0Za\u010dalo to t\u00edm, \u017ee jako ka\u017edej norm\u00e1ln\u00ed chlap pova\u017euji p\u0159edpov\u011b\u010f po\u010das\u00ed za kratochv\u00edli vynalezenou pro m\u00e9n\u011b odoln\u00e9 a zna\u010dn\u011b m\u00e9n\u011b inteligentn\u00ed jedince (\u017eeny) a v\u011bnov\u00e1n\u00ed pozornosti takov\u00fdm nesmysl\u016fm je samoz\u0159ejm\u011b pod moj\u00ed velev\u00e1\u017eenou d\u016fstojnost.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_editorskit_title_hidden":false,"_editorskit_reading_time":0,"_editorskit_is_block_options_detached":false,"_editorskit_block_options_position":"{}"},"categories":[6,4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1156"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1156"}],"version-history":[{"count":16,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1156\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1178,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1156\/revisions\/1178"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1156"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1156"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1156"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}