{"id":1217,"date":"2015-05-29T22:26:27","date_gmt":"2015-05-29T21:26:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/?p=1217"},"modified":"2015-05-30T10:10:14","modified_gmt":"2015-05-30T09:10:14","slug":"krutomyval-jak-odeslat-v-korporatu-email","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/?p=1217","title":{"rendered":"Krutom\u00fdval: jak odeslat v korpor\u00e1tu email?"},"content":{"rendered":"

1. Nesn\u00e1\u0161\u00edm, kdy\u017e je m\u011b n\u011bkde pot\u0159eba. Ale e\u0161t\u011b m\u00ed\u0148 m\u00e1m r\u00e1d, kdy\u017e m\u011b n\u011bkde pot\u0159eba v\u016fbec nen\u00ed, a p\u0159esto \u00a0klient po\u017eaduje, abych tam byl, proto\u017ee „je fajn, kdy\u017e je v m\u00edstnosti pr\u00e1vn\u00edk<\/em>„. Mno.<\/p>\n

2. Tak\u017ee sem takhle p\u0159ed t\u00fddnem oxidoval na jedn\u00e1n\u00ed, \u017ee kter\u00e9ho vyplynulo, \u017ee na projektu, kdy se lidem rozes\u00edl\u00e1 zmrzlina, kterou: (i) maj\u00ed d\u00e1t do mraz\u00e1ku a (ii) \u00a0vy\u010dkat a\u017e j\u00ed budou moci za n\u011bkolik t\u00fddn\u016f serv\u00edrovat n\u00e1v\u0161t\u011bv\u011b, je asi 80% p\u0159\u00edjemc\u016f zmrzliny banda idiot\u016f, co mra\u017een\u00fd kr\u00e9m m\u00edsto do mraz\u00e1ku daj\u00ed jen do lednice. A kdy\u017e krabi\u010dku s Ledn\u00e1\u010dkama za p\u00e1r t\u00fddn\u016f otev\u0159ou, a cht\u011bj\u00ed serv\u00edrovat n\u00e1v\u0161t\u011bv\u011b, div\u00ed se \u017ee v n\u00ed je m\u00edsto mra\u017een\u00e9ho pt\u00e1ka na \u0161pejli pl\u00edse\u0148, p\u0159\u00edpadn\u011b \u010dervi.<\/p>\n

3. Jeliko\u017e rozv\u00e1\u017eky t\u00e9 zmrzliny s instrukcema „uchovejte v chladu a vy\u010dkejte p\u0159\u00edchodu n\u00e1v\u0161t\u011bvy“<\/em>\u00a0 st\u00e1le prob\u00edhaly a zahrnovaly rozvoz zhruba je\u0161t\u011b asi 95 tis\u00edc\u016fm lid\u00ed po cel\u00e9m sv\u011bte, a tedy generovalo se riziko dal\u0161\u00ed ohromn\u00e9 zmrzlinov\u00e9 ztr\u00e1ty (likvidace star\u00e9 zmrzliny, serv\u00edrov\u00e1n\u00ed n\u00e1hradn\u00edho desertu n\u00e1v\u0161t\u011bv\u011b, \u0159e\u0161en\u00ed na\u0161tvan\u00fdch dotaz\u016f ze strany v\u0161ech, na t\u00e9ma „pro\u010d kua ta zmrzlina expirovala, kdy\u017e sem j\u00ed dal do chladu“<\/em>) bylo t\u0159eba klient\u016fm zaslat co nejd\u0159\u00edve informa\u010dn\u00ed let\u00e1k, ve kter\u00e9m se specifikuje „kokoti, d\u00e1vejte zmrzlinu do mraz\u00e1ku, nikoliv jen do chlad\u00edc\u00ed \u010d\u00e1sti lednice. Peace.“<\/em><\/p>\n

4. Bylo tedy pochopiteln\u011b „nutn\u00e9<\/em>„, aby takov\u00fd z\u00e1va\u017en\u00fd dokument za\u0161t\u00edt\u00edl sv\u00fdm \u0161patn\u00fdm jm\u00e9nem vrchn\u00ed \u00a0firemn\u00ed \u00a0pr\u00e1vn\u00ed poradce p\u0159es v\u0161echno zl\u00e9 a marn\u00e9. Tedy moje veli\u010denstvo.<\/p>\n

5. Kdy\u017e se mi to dostalo na st\u016fl, zn\u011blo zad\u00e1n\u00ed jako „pr\u00e1ce<\/em>„, co\u017e m\u011b odpuzuje, tak\u017ee sem promptn\u011b pov\u011b\u0159il sv\u00e9 otroky t\u00edm a\u0165 ten canc sep\u00ed\u0161ou a vymy\u0161lej si n\u011bjakou rychlou pr\u00e1vn\u00ed anal\u00fdzu na t\u00e9ma „kdy\u017e X, tak to stoj\u00ed m\u00e9n\u011b dolar\u016f, kdy\u017e Y, tak v\u00edce<\/em>“ a bude. Case closed. Parry Mason vs pist\u00e1ciov\u00e9 Haagen Dasz de k ledu.<\/p>\n

6. Jen\u017ee ne\u0161lo. Uk\u00e1zalo se, \u017ee p\u0159edt\u00edm ne\u017e velekorporace na\u0161eho typu je ochotna poslat hromadn\u00fd email, mus\u00ed ten elabor\u00e1t proj\u00edt schvalov\u00e1n\u00edm hodn\u00fdm 173 \u00a0bran pekla.<\/p>\n

7. Postupn\u011b sem tedy musel zmrzlinovou anab\u00e1zi vysv\u011btlovat (i) v\u00edceprezidentovi firmy pro „soulad s p\u0159edpisy<\/em>“ – a objasnit \u017ee\u00a0ne, neporu\u0161ili sme \u017e\u00e1dn\u00fd zmrzlinov\u00fd p\u0159edpis, jen lidi sou kripli, n\u00e1sledn\u011b (ii) viceprezidentovi pro vyhodnocov\u00e1n\u00ed rizik (viz moje odborn\u00e1 dolarov\u00e1 anal\u00fdza v\u00fd\u0161e, bro)<\/em>, a nakonec (iii) \u00a0v\u00edceprezidentovi pro v\u0161eobecnou komunikaci.<\/p>\n

8. A z toho sem m\u00e1lem po\u0161el. Uk\u00e1zalo se toti\u017e, \u017ee p\u0159ed odesl\u00e1n\u00edm toho 3\u0159\u00e1dkov\u00e9ho mailu bylo nutn\u00e9 sezvat t\u00fdm marketinkov\u00fdch odborn\u00edk\u016f, kte\u0159\u00ed vyhodnot\u00ed efektivnost takov\u00e9 komunikace, doporu\u010d\u00ed a\u0165 se na to t\u00e9ma rad\u011bji nato\u010d\u00ed „vir\u00e1lek<\/em>„, uk\u00e1\u017eou tucet graf\u016f a kol\u00e1\u010d\u016f z v\u0161ech mo\u017en\u00fdch v\u011bkov\u00fdch, v\u00e1hov\u00fdch a etnick\u00fdch skupin p\u0159\u00edjemc\u016f n\u00f3ty, a nakonec nahod\u00ed hloubkovou anal\u00fdzu p\u0159edpov\u011bdi reakce \u010dten\u00e1\u0159e. No jak z minority report akor\u00e1t bez Spielberga a Cruise.<\/p>\n

9. Cca po t\u00fddnu co sem teda \u00a0furt opakoval „kdy\u017e X, tak to stoj\u00ed m\u00e9n\u011b dolar\u016f, kdy\u017e Y, tak v\u00edce“<\/em> mi byl kone\u010dn\u011b milosrdn\u011b p\u0159id\u011blen fin\u00e1ln\u00ed satan\u00e1\u0161\u016fv \u0161templ a mohlo se kliknout na bo\u017esk\u00e9 „odesla<\/em>t“.<\/p>\n

10. Ale jeliko\u017e lidi sou fakt idioti, tak na ten email mimo reakc\u00ed „ah\u00e1\u00e1<\/em>!“ a „heur\u00e9ka, u\u017e to neshnije<\/em>“ p\u0159i\u0161ly i reakce typu „kde je mraz\u00edc\u00ed \u010d\u00e1st m\u00e9 lednice?<\/em>“ a „kdy\u017e to po m\u011bs\u00edci v lednici p\u0159end\u00e1m do mr\u00e1z\u00e1ku, sprav\u00ed se to?<\/em>“ a m\u016fj zat\u00edm top „dostal sem v\u00e1\u0161 email, ale nejsem si jist\u00fd, co je to zmrzlina“<\/em>. Du zhebnout. Korpor\u00e1tn\u00ed komunikaci zdar.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

1. Nesn\u00e1\u0161\u00edm, kdy\u017e je m\u011b n\u011bkde pot\u0159eba. Ale e\u0161t\u011b m\u00ed\u0148 m\u00e1m r\u00e1d, kdy\u017e m\u011b n\u011bkde pot\u0159eba v\u016fbec nen\u00ed, a p\u0159esto \u00a0klient po\u017eaduje, abych tam byl, proto\u017ee „je fajn, kdy\u017e je v m\u00edstnosti pr\u00e1vn\u00edk„. Mno. 2. Tak\u017ee sem takhle p\u0159ed t\u00fddnem oxidoval na jedn\u00e1n\u00ed, \u017ee kter\u00e9ho vyplynulo, \u017ee na projektu, kdy se lidem rozes\u00edl\u00e1 zmrzlina, kterou: … Pokra\u010dov\u00e1n\u00ed textu Krutom\u00fdval: jak odeslat v korpor\u00e1tu email?<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_editorskit_title_hidden":false,"_editorskit_reading_time":0,"_editorskit_is_block_options_detached":false,"_editorskit_block_options_position":"{}"},"categories":[4,3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1217"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1217"}],"version-history":[{"count":19,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1217\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1237,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1217\/revisions\/1237"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1217"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1217"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1217"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}