{"id":130,"date":"2013-11-18T21:33:59","date_gmt":"2013-11-18T20:33:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/?p=130"},"modified":"2013-11-18T21:42:02","modified_gmt":"2013-11-18T20:42:02","slug":"krutomyval-do-pekel-horoucich-se-zenskejma","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/?p=130","title":{"rendered":"Krutom\u00fdval: do pekel horouc\u00edch se \u017eenskejma!"},"content":{"rendered":"

1. \u00a0Nejsem takov\u00fd bl\u00e1zen, abych si myslel, \u017ee \u017eeny nep\u0159in\u00e1\u0161\u00ed \u010dlov\u011bku probl\u00e9my a starosti. Ale do dne\u0161n\u00edho ve\u010dera sem si furt myslel, \u017ee pozitiva (a soci\u00e1ln\u00ed jistoty)<\/em> p\u0159eva\u017euj\u00ed nad pitomejma komplikacema jako sou necht\u011bn\u00e1 t\u011bhotenstv\u00ed, odm\u00edt\u00e1n\u00ed sexu mimo „vyhran\u011bn\u00e9 dny a m\u00edstnosti\/otvory<\/em>„, \u00a0a neust\u00e1l\u00e9 zahrnov\u00e1n\u00ed \u010dlov\u011bka r\u016fzn\u00fdmi formami v\u00fd\u010ditek \u010di pasivn\u00ed agresivity.<\/p>\n

2. Po dne\u0161ku ale v\u00e1\u017en\u011b pochybuju o tom, \u017ee „to<\/em>“ za to v\u0161echno stoj\u00ed. Posu\u010fte sami.<\/p>\n

3. Nebudu zab\u00edhat do nechutn\u00fdch detail\u016f, jen \u0159eknu \u017ee sem se po dlouh\u00e9 dob\u011b vid\u011bl s Mo\u017en\u00e1-n\u00e9-\u00fapn\u011b-blbou Koncipientkou od JUDr. Nechv\u00e1tala a \u017ee sem se nechal udyndat k tomu, abych si j\u00ed vzal v\u010dera ve\u010der na noc dom.<\/p>\n

4. Co v\u00e1m m\u00e1m pov\u00eddat, na nab\u00eddku kvalitn\u00edho an\u00e1ln\u00edho sexu m\u011b toti\u017e dostane skoro ka\u017ed\u00e1. V\u0161ichni m\u00e1me p\u0159eci n\u011bjakou tu svou „slabost“<\/em>.<\/p>\n

5. \u00a0No a jeliko\u017e noc se fakt povedla, z\u016fstali sme v posteli a\u017e do odpoledne. Pak sem j\u00ed u\u017e musel vyexpedovat, p\u00e1\u010d mi volal Kudla<\/a>, \u017ee z\u00edtra r\u00e1no (v nechutn\u011b brzkou hodinu<\/em>) se ode m\u011b \u017e\u00e1d\u00e1 spolupr\u00e1ce na fin\u00e1ln\u00edm okruhu akce Free Lassi<\/a>e, kter\u00e1 se ne\u010dekan\u011b prot\u00e1hla, ale snad u\u017e fakt fini\u0161uje.<\/p>\n

6. \u00a0Tak\u017ee sem Mo\u017en\u00e1-n\u00e9-\u00fapn\u011b-blbou Koncipientku od JUDr. Nechv\u00e1tala\u00a0\u00a0promptn\u011b vyhodil, s fale\u0161n\u00fdm p\u0159\u00edslibem toho \u017ee j\u00ed „v\u00fdhledov\u011b zavol\u00e1m“.<\/em>\u00a0 Co\u017e vlastn\u011b nen\u00ed tak fale\u0161n\u00e9, v\u00fdhledov\u011b p\u0159eci nen\u00ed definov\u00e1no z\u00e1konem ani ust\u00e1lenou judikat\u016frou, tak co. A dodal sem, \u017ee to bylo „skv\u011bl\u00e9“<\/em>. Pak byla teprve ochotna i stou svoj\u00ed kouzelnou, by\u0165 moment\u00e1ln\u011b p\u0159ecijen trochu natr\u017eenou prdelkou vypadnout z m\u00e9ho bytu.<\/p>\n

7. Jen co za n\u00ed zaklaply dve\u0159e sem si napustil vanu, nam\u00edchal Skyy s Triple secem a limetkou (ano, nic \u010dlov\u011bka tak nepos\u00edl\u00ed p\u0159ed bitvou jako Kamikaze<\/em>) a jal se chv\u00edli (u<\/em>)spokojen\u011b hn\u00edt.<\/p>\n

8. Po van\u011b sem se celej unavenej jen horko t\u011b\u017eko doplazil do postele, abych tam ignoroval zoufal\u00e9 emaily od klient\u016f a m\u00edsto pr\u00e1ce se pod\u00edval na ned\u011bln\u00ed d\u00edl Homelandu a psychicky se p\u0159ipravil na to, \u017ee z\u00edtra m\u00e1m vst\u00e1t v osm a e\u0161t\u011b je dost pravd\u011bpodobn\u00e9, \u017ee budu muset b\u00fdt pak cel\u00fd den ve st\u0159ehu, p\u0159ipraven pod\u00e1vat brilantn\u00ed psychick\u00e9 i fyzick\u00e9 v\u00fdkony.<\/p>\n

9. Kdy\u017e sem asi po hodin\u011b z postele vylezl, abych si dolil vodku, projela mi \u00a0po p\u0159ilo\u017een\u00ed nohy na zem patou\u00a0nesm\u00edrn\u011b ostr\u00e1 bolest. Vychrlil sem ze sebe asi osmn\u00e1ct mega-vulg\u00e1rn\u00edch v\u00fdk\u0159ik\u016f, hodil pohotovostn\u00ed tlamu na z\u00e1da a pod\u00edval se na chodidlo. V n\u011bm bylo do hloubky t\u00e9m\u011b\u0159 dvou zkurvenejch centimetr\u016f (jak sem zjistil posl\u00e9ze<\/em>) \u00a0zara\u017een\u00e9ho o\u0161kliv\u00e9 „cosi“<\/em>. P\u0159i bli\u017e\u0161\u00edm prozkoum\u00e1n\u00ed sem zjistil \u017ee to je „r\u016f\u017eov\u00e1 kyti\u010dka<\/em>“ a po jej\u00edm ag\u00f3nii vzbuzuj\u00edc\u00edm vyrv\u00e1n\u00edm ze sv\u00e9ho patomasa mi do\u0161lo, \u017ee ta zbra\u0148, (jist\u011b \u00famysln\u011b narafi\u010den\u00e1 tak, aby pokud se na n\u00ed \u010dirou n\u00e1hodou do t\u00e9 doby nezabiju, aspo\u0148 m\u011bla rafi\u010ditelka n\u011bjak\u00fd z\u00e1stupn\u00fd d\u016fvod pro\u010d se sem n\u011bkdy vr\u00e1tit)<\/em>, byla pod\u011blan\u00e1 n\u00e1u\u0161nice v\u00edtekoho.<\/p>\n

10. Podle v\u0161ech film\u016f z l\u00e9ka\u0159sk\u00e9ho prost\u0159ed\u00ed bylo na m\u00edst\u011b r\u00e1nu pot\u00e9, co z n\u00ed vy\u0161kubnu ciz\u00ed p\u0159edm\u011bt, n\u00e1le\u017eit\u011b o\u0161et\u0159it. Jen\u017ee, copak sem Matka Tereza nebo McGyver, abych m\u011bl doma v\u011bci typu „l\u00e9k\u00e1rni\u010dka“<\/em>? Nebo aspo\u0148 jej\u00ed sou\u010d\u00e1stky, jako je dezinfekce a n\u00e1plast? Jo, brut\u00e1ln\u011b to toti\u017e krv\u00e1c\u00ed, kdyby v\u00e1s to zaj\u00edmalo. Dopajdal sem se teda k t\u00e9 lahvi vodky, co sem si cht\u011bl p\u016fvodn\u011b z n\u00ed p\u0159ihnout, a nalil si j\u00ed tak decku na nohu. Pak sem vy\u010derpan\u011b spadl do postele a tam krv\u00e1c\u00edm na prost\u011bradlo dosud. A v pauz\u00e1ch mez\u00ed lokama Skyy sp\u00edl\u00e1m v\u0161em \u017een\u00e1m. \u00a0Nejsem sice doktor, ale p\u0159edpokl\u00e1d\u00e1m, \u017ee takhle hlubok\u00e1 r\u00e1na se ur\u010dit\u011b brzy zan\u00edt\u00ed a bude muset operovat a pokud u\u017e budu m\u00edt to z pekla \u0161t\u011bst\u00ed a do r\u00e1na nechc\u00edpnu na gangr\u00e9nu, tak noha bude ur\u010dit\u011b masivn\u011b otekl\u00e1 a bolav\u00e1. A j\u00e1 budu zejtra p\u0159\u00edpadn\u011b ut\u00edkaj\u00edc\u00ed mafi\u00e1ny pron\u00e1sledovat asi s takovejma \u0161ancema, jak\u00e9 by m\u011bl ve h\u0159e na hon\u011bnou \u00a0hrab\u011b\u00a0Joffreye de\u00a0Peyrac. To sou teda vyhl\u00eddky.<\/p>\n

\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

1. \u00a0Nejsem takov\u00fd bl\u00e1zen, abych si myslel, \u017ee \u017eeny nep\u0159in\u00e1\u0161\u00ed \u010dlov\u011bku probl\u00e9my a starosti. Ale do dne\u0161n\u00edho ve\u010dera sem si furt myslel, \u017ee pozitiva (a soci\u00e1ln\u00ed jistoty) p\u0159eva\u017euj\u00ed nad pitomejma komplikacema jako sou necht\u011bn\u00e1 t\u011bhotenstv\u00ed, odm\u00edt\u00e1n\u00ed sexu mimo „vyhran\u011bn\u00e9 dny a m\u00edstnosti\/otvory„, \u00a0a neust\u00e1l\u00e9 zahrnov\u00e1n\u00ed \u010dlov\u011bka r\u016fzn\u00fdmi formami v\u00fd\u010ditek \u010di pasivn\u00ed agresivity. 2. Po dne\u0161ku … Pokra\u010dov\u00e1n\u00ed textu Krutom\u00fdval: do pekel horouc\u00edch se \u017eenskejma!<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_editorskit_title_hidden":false,"_editorskit_reading_time":0,"_editorskit_is_block_options_detached":false,"_editorskit_block_options_position":"{}"},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/130"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=130"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/130\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":136,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/130\/revisions\/136"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=130"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=130"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=130"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}