{"id":227,"date":"2013-11-28T04:34:52","date_gmt":"2013-11-28T03:34:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/?p=227"},"modified":"2013-12-14T07:25:41","modified_gmt":"2013-12-14T06:25:41","slug":"krutomyvl-jak-dostal-myvala-do-blazince","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/?p=227","title":{"rendered":"Krutom\u00fdval: jak dostat M\u00fdvala do bl\u00e1zince?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">1. U\u017e sem n\u011bkdy asi zmi\u0148oval, \u017ee m\u00e1m jednu pod\u0159\u00edzenou, co m\u011b dost \u0161tve svoj\u00ed pracovitost\u00ed a sv\u011bdomitost\u00ed. No te\u010f sem dostal \u0161anci j\u00ed m\u00edru m\u00e9ho rozezlen\u00ed uk\u00e1zat na \u010d\u00edslech \u00a0&#8211; z\u00edtra j\u00ed m\u00e1m toti\u017e ozn\u00e1mit v\u00fd\u0161i jej\u00edho bonusu. Zat\u00edmco j\u00e1 dost\u00e1v\u00e1m pln\u00fdch sto procent sv\u00e9ho maxima, kter\u00e9 mne p\u0159ehoupne p\u0159es kula\u0165ou\u010dk\u00fd milionek, ona dostane pouho-pouh\u00fdch 5 procent sv\u00e9ho limitu, co\u017e v jej\u00edm p\u0159\u00edpad\u011b bude vysloven\u011b p\u00e1r tis\u00edcovek.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><!--more--><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">2. Abyste si ale nemysleli, \u017ee sem Krut\u00fd zase moc, ud\u00e1lo se to asi takhle: v z\u00e1\u0159\u00ed sem s n\u00ed ud\u011blal celoro\u010dn\u00ed hodnocen\u00ed a p\u0159ik\u00e1zal j\u00ed do budoucnosti m\u00e9n\u011b pracovat a p\u0159ipomenul j\u00ed n\u011bco, \u010demu se v USA \u0159\u00edk\u00e1 &#8222;<em>work-life balance<\/em>&#8222;. Prost\u011b a\u0165 je trochu m\u00e9n\u011b v pr\u00e1ci a trochu v\u00edce doma <em>(nebo sakry\u0161 jinde, jen ne m\u011b na vo\u010d\u00edch<\/em>) a kdy\u017e nen\u00ed v pr\u00e1ci, tak a\u0165 mi furt nevol\u00e1, nebo nep\u00ed\u0161e.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">3. Jeliko\u017e sem m\u011bl relevantn\u00ed v\u00fdtky <em>(svou pracovitost\u00ed m\u011b vrh\u00e1 do \u0161patn\u00e9ho sv\u011btla a obecn\u011b d\u011bsn\u011b \u0161tve)<\/em>\u00a0navrhnul sem ji relevantn\u00ed sn\u00ed\u017een\u00ed bonusu. Ze 100 na 75%. To je tak akor\u00e1t, ne?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">4. Jen\u017ee, doba je<em> (pr\u00fd)<\/em>\u00a0zl\u00e1 a tomu, kdo nem\u00e1 navr\u017eeno nad 95% se pr\u00fd bonus e\u0161t\u011b pokr\u00e1t\u00ed. Mi vysv\u011btlilo\u00a0<em>(tak\u00e9 zl\u00e9)<\/em> HR. Co\u017e sem teda p\u0159edt\u00edm nev\u011bd\u011bl <em>(ale mo\u017en\u00e1 mohl a ur\u010dit\u011b m\u011bl<\/em>). Mno, pozd\u011b zby\u0161ka honit.\u00a0Tak\u017ee ten historicky nejni\u017e\u0161\u00ed bonus j\u00ed budu &#8222;<em>radostn\u011b<\/em>&#8220; oznamovat po telefonu j\u00e1, z\u00edtra. Teda vlastn\u011b u\u017e dneska.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">5. Asi ch\u00e1pete, \u017ee se na to zrovna net\u011b\u0161\u00edm. U\u017e sem to m\u011bl ud\u011blat v pond\u011bl\u00ed, ale pro\u010d n\u011bco d\u011blat v pond\u011bl\u00ed, kdy\u017e to ur\u010dit\u011b de ud\u011blat na americk\u00e9 d\u00edk\u016fvzd\u00e1n\u00ed, kdy na n\u00ed budu apelovat, a\u0165 je r\u00e1da, \u017ee v t\u00e9to slo\u017eit\u00e9 situaci m\u00e1 v\u016fbec n\u011bco. A pod\u011bkuje za to na kolenou.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">6. \u00a0Mno a pro\u010d to v\u0161echno pov\u00edd\u00e1m. Te\u010f sem \u0161el ze sv\u00e9ho p\u0159\u00edbytku vyprovodit jednu svle\u010dno-oble\u010dsnu, a kdy\u017e sem se znaven a st\u00e1le je\u0161t\u011b nah\u00fd vr\u00e1til do postele, zjistil sem, \u017ee mi ta pipka nohou telefon zakopla za postel. Ale ne mezi \u010d\u00e1st r\u00e1hno a ze\u010f ale mezi tu t\u00e9m\u011b\u0159 neexistentn\u00ed pr\u016fdu\u0165 co je u n\u011bkter\u00fdch postel\u00ed mezi matrac\u00ed a r\u00e1hnem. Btw nev\u00edm co je r\u00e1hno ale tak si tu v\u011bc intern\u011b pojmenov\u00e1v\u00e1m. A ta matrace nejde sama zvednout, kurvnik \u0161opa!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">7. Moje by\u0165 zcela nemedv\u011bd\u00ed tlapa se do pr\u016fdut\u011b nevejde. Naho\u0159e na stole m\u00e1m sice e\u0161t\u011b v\u00fdsm\u011b\u0161n\u011b se na m\u011b nyn\u00ed koukaj\u00edc\u00ed soukrom\u00fd telefon, ale by\u0165 bych si tam nastavil skryt\u00e9 \u010d\u00edslo, ta trubka m\u00e1 volat m\u011b, a\u017e usp\u00ed d\u00edt\u011b \u010di \u010do. \u00a0Jasn\u011b, mohl bych j\u00ed napsat email, \u017ee sem na jin\u00e9m \u010d\u00edsle, ale t\u00edm bych j\u00ed musel to \u010d\u00edslo d\u00e1t, ne j\u00e1 j\u00ed. Jasn\u011b, mohl bych j\u00ed napsat email, a\u0165 mi \u0159ekne, a\u017e bude harant v limbu a \u017ee j\u00ed zavol\u00e1m ze skryt\u00e9ho a pak se ment\u00e1ln\u011b vybodnout na to, \u017ee plat\u00edm z osobn\u00edho telefonu roaming USA-\u010cR-\u0160VAJC, ale to u\u017e je na mou nejen krutou, ale hlavn\u011b \u017egrd\u00e1ckou\u00a0povahu moc. Praprad\u011bde\u010dek \u017eid by se toti\u017e obracel v hrob\u011b.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">8. Tak\u017ee co zb\u00fdvalo? Za zvuku blokuj\u00edc\u00edch se obratl\u016f a praskaj\u00edc\u00edch plot\u00e9nek <em>(\u00e1\u00e1\u00e1, star\u00e1 zran\u011bn\u00ed z kickboxu se oz\u00fdvaj\u00ed<\/em>) odt\u00e1hnout postel, abych zjistil \u017ee telefon je v jej\u00edch \u00fatrob\u00e1ch a nikoliv za n\u00ed. Nad\u00e1vaj\u00edc\u00ed j\u00ed zase zandat a rozev\u0159\u00edt j\u00ed teda jako chtivou a spr\u00e1vn\u011b p\u0159iopilou prvni\u010dku, a zjistit, \u017ee ten kurevskej p\u0159\u00edstroj nen\u00ed ani tam, on je prost\u011b &#8222;<em>n\u011bkde mezi<\/em>&#8222;. M\u00e1lem sem to tam cel\u00fd podp\u00e1lil a doufal \u017ee jedin\u00e9 co je neho\u0159lav\u00e9 je telefon a j\u00e1.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">9. Nakonec m\u011b zachr\u00e1nila matka. Nebo sestra. Prost\u011b kdokoliv mi do bytu n\u011bkdy v minulosti p\u0159inesl takovou tu podle m\u011b zednickou l\u017e\u00edci a oni tomu \u0159\u00edkaj asi kulin\u00e1\u0159sk\u00e1 \u0161pachtle na n\u011bco. Ta, spolu s vidli\u010dkou a moj\u00ed rukou sed\u0159enou t\u00e9m\u011br na maso, telefon v \u00fatrob\u00e1ch uchopila a po n\u011bkolika dropech jak z herny u claw machine, se mi to p\u0159ecijen poda\u0159ilo vyt\u00e1hnout. C\u00edtil sem se jako McGyver po hodin\u011b z Robokopie.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">10. Ale ne\u017e se za\u010dnu vytahovat jakej sem g\u00e9nius: proto\u017ee p\u0159ed t\u00edmto v\u00fdkonem sem se b\u00e1l o \u00fasp\u011b\u0161nost cel\u00e9 mise i j\u00e1, norm\u00e1ln\u00ed kli\u010fas, podlehl sem spole\u010densk\u00e9mu tlaku a pod\u00edval se dop\u0159edu na google, a ptal se ho <em>&#8222;jak dostat telefon z pevn\u011b uzav\u0159en\u00e9ho vnit\u0159ku postele, kam je jen malink\u00e1 dutinka na vstup&#8220;.<\/em>\u00a0 A na\u0161el tam tenhle prima n\u00e1vodn\u00fd obr\u00e1zek, podle kter\u00e9ho mi do\u0161lo co mus\u00edm ud\u011blat: vytvo\u0159it &#8222;<em>claw hand&#8220;<\/em>\u00a0<em>(roboruku s dr\u00e1pem)<\/em> a n\u00e1sledn\u011b u\u017e si jen zahr\u00e1t hru, kterou sem od d\u011btstv\u00ed nen\u00e1vid\u011bl, proto\u017ee kdy\u017e u\u017e sem n\u011bjak\u00fdho toho ply\u0161\u00e1ka po p\u016fl hodin\u011b slint\u00e1n\u00ed laskav\u011b vyhr\u00e1l, musel sem ho d\u00e1t t\u00fd fuchtli, co tam byla v\u017edycky se mnou. Rada do budoucnsoti pokud se tedy n\u011bkdy e\u0161t\u011b vr\u00e1t\u00edm do minulosti: nebrat teenage holky na rande do ark\u00e1d! Cht\u011bj\u00ed abyste jim furt jen vyhr\u00e1vali ply\u0161\u00e1ky! Jo a te\u010f u\u017e mus\u00edm j\u00edt sp\u00e1t, proto\u017ee za p\u00e1r hodin vysv\u011btluju velmi pracovit\u00e9 a sv\u011bdomit\u00e9 d\u00edvce, pro\u010d bude m\u00edt na v\u00e1no\u010dn\u00ed d\u00e1rky daleko m\u00ed\u0148 ne\u017e doufala. Za\u010dnu asi t\u00edm, \u017ee m\u00edt dva haranty, jako m\u00e1 ona, je v dne\u0161n\u00ed dob\u011b zbyte\u010dn\u00fd p\u0159epych a \u017ee si za to cel\u00e9 tedy m\u016f\u017ee sama. No nebo ne??<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/clawhand.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone  wp-image-228\" alt=\"clawhand\" src=\"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/clawhand.jpg\" width=\"500\" height=\"488\" \/><\/a><a style=\"line-height: 1.5; color: #ea9629; text-decoration: underline; outline: #000000;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/clawing.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone  wp-image-229\" alt=\"clawing\" src=\"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/clawing.jpg\" width=\"500\" height=\"580\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">ps &#8211; obr\u00e1zky nevlastn\u00edm, naleziteln\u00e9 sou na facepunch a society6 a autorem je teo zirinis.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>1. U\u017e sem n\u011bkdy asi zmi\u0148oval, \u017ee m\u00e1m jednu pod\u0159\u00edzenou, co m\u011b dost \u0161tve svoj\u00ed pracovitost\u00ed a sv\u011bdomitost\u00ed. No te\u010f sem dostal \u0161anci j\u00ed m\u00edru m\u00e9ho rozezlen\u00ed uk\u00e1zat na \u010d\u00edslech \u00a0&#8211; z\u00edtra j\u00ed m\u00e1m toti\u017e ozn\u00e1mit v\u00fd\u0161i jej\u00edho bonusu. Zat\u00edmco j\u00e1 dost\u00e1v\u00e1m pln\u00fdch sto procent sv\u00e9ho maxima, kter\u00e9 mne p\u0159ehoupne p\u0159es kula\u0165ou\u010dk\u00fd milionek, ona dostane &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/?p=227\" class=\"more-link\">Pokra\u010dov\u00e1n\u00ed textu <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Krutom\u00fdval: jak dostat M\u00fdvala do bl\u00e1zince?<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_editorskit_title_hidden":false,"_editorskit_reading_time":0,"_editorskit_is_block_options_detached":false,"_editorskit_block_options_position":"{}"},"categories":[5,4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/227"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=227"}],"version-history":[{"count":15,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/227\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":245,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/227\/revisions\/245"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=227"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=227"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=227"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}