{"id":2386,"date":"2018-02-13T16:53:40","date_gmt":"2018-02-13T15:53:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/?p=2386"},"modified":"2018-02-13T19:55:07","modified_gmt":"2018-02-13T18:55:07","slug":"krutomyval-kralovstvi-za-saturnina","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/?p=2386","title":{"rendered":"Krutom\u00fdval: Kr\u00e1lovstv\u00ed za Saturnina!"},"content":{"rendered":"

1. Jeliko\u017e u\u017e nejsem bohat\u00fd pr\u00e1vn\u00edk, co m\u00e1 na v\u0161echno n\u011bjak\u00e9 pomocn\u00e9 s\u00edly, n\u00fdbr\u017e chud\u00fd um\u011blec, kter\u00fd si mus\u00ed skoro v\u0161echno d\u011blat s\u00e1m, bylo nutn\u00e9 v\u010dera podstoupit hr\u016fzu hr\u016fzouc\u00ed ve form\u011b n\u00e1v\u0161t\u011bvy \u00fa\u0159adu pro motorov\u00e1 vozidla (neboli „department of motor vehicles“ aka DMV)<\/em> a vlastnoru\u010dn\u011b si vy\u0159\u00eddit nov\u00fd \u0159idi\u010d\u00e1k.<\/p>\n

2. M\u016f\u017eu akor\u00e1t tak zam\u00e1\u010dknout slzu nad t\u00edm, jak mne kdysi v\u0161ude (kam se muselo osobn\u011b<\/em>) doprov\u00e1zela sekret\u00e1\u0159ka, nebo n\u011bjakej jinej poskok, co v\u011bd\u011bl do kter\u00e9 fronty se za\u0159adit, p\u0159\u00edpadn\u011b ji byl ochoten za v\u00e1s vyst\u00e1t, nebo znal pan\u00ed za p\u0159ep\u00e1\u017ekou a v\u011bd\u011bl kdy tam m\u00e1 \u010dlov\u011bk p\u0159ij\u00edt aby ne\u010dekal atd. To byl sladk\u00fd \u017eivot. Tomu je ale konec.<\/p>\n

3. Je\u0161t\u011b \u017ee m\u00e1m americk\u00fd \u0159idi\u010d\u00e1k z jin\u00e9ho st\u00e1tu a \u010dekala mne tak tedy pouh\u00e1 „mezist\u00e1tn\u00ed v\u00fdm\u011bna<\/em>„. K tomu \u010dlov\u011bk pot\u0159ebuje „pouze“<\/em>: star\u00fd \u0159idi\u010d\u00e1k, karti\u010dku soci\u00e1ln\u00edho poji\u0161t\u011bn\u00ed, zelenou kartu\/pas, v\u00fdplatnici, nebo \u00fa\u010det od elekt\u0159iny zaslan\u00fd na va\u0161\u00ed adresu, plus dal\u0161\u00ed dopis, kter\u00fd v\u00e1m do\u0161el do schr\u00e1nky. Kdo dneska ale dost\u00e1v\u00e1 dopisy do schr\u00e1nky? Na\u0161t\u011bst\u00ed mi minul\u00fd t\u00fdden psali n\u011bjac\u00ed prodava\u010di tepl\u00e9ho vzduchu \u010di co. Pak ji\u017e sta\u010d\u00ed vyplnit dvoustr\u00e1nkov\u00fd formul\u00e1\u0159 (ano, chci b\u00fdt d\u00e1rce org\u00e1nu, by’t zrovna moje org\u00e1ny asi k ni\u010demu nebudou)<\/em> ud\u011blat testy na o\u010di a \u010dekat. Fotku si ud\u011blaj\u00ed sami p\u0159\u00edmo na \u00fa\u0159ad\u011b. Tak aspon\u017ee tak.<\/p>\n

4. Jeliko\u017e mne nekone\u010dnost front ji\u017e od d\u011btstv\u00ed d\u011bs\u00ed, p\u0159i\u0161lo mi \u017ee je vhodn\u00e9 si na \u00fa\u0159ad\u011b p\u0159edem domluvit sch\u016fzku na konkr\u00e9tn\u00ed \u010das. Kdy\u017e u\u017e to dne\u0161n\u00ed modern\u00ed doba nab\u00edz\u00ed. S rezerva\u010dn\u00edm k\u00f3dem v mailu se mi tam hned jelo l\u00edp.<\/p>\n

5. Prvn\u00edm \u00faskal\u00edm bylo kde zaparkovat. P\u0159ed \u00fa\u0159adem se parkovat nesm\u00ed. Nicm\u00e9n\u011b tam v\u0161ichni parkovali, v\u0161ude okolo t\u011bch ob\u0159\u00edch cedul\u00ed „no parking anytime<\/em>„. Jen\u017ee j\u00e1 sem uboh\u00fd cizinec, kter\u00e9mu m\u016f\u017eou odebrat zelenou kartu a deportovat ho kdykoliv se jim zl\u00edb\u00ed, tak jim k tomu p\u0159eci nebudu d\u00e1vat d\u016fvod poru\u0161ov\u00e1n\u00edm z\u00e1kona, no ne? E\u0161t\u011b by m\u011b zast\u0159elili jak \u010dernocha na d\u00e1lnici. Tak\u017ee krou\u017e\u00edm okolo a hled\u00e1m parking. Bylo to na Coney Island co\u017e je opravu kr\u00e1sn\u00e9 m\u00edsto. Pokud nev\u011b\u0159\u00edte, pod\u00edvejte se na nejnov\u011bj\u0161\u00ed film Woodyho Allena Wonder Wheel<\/a>, kter\u00fd tam byl nato\u010den\u00fd. Pou\u0165ov\u00e9 atrakce na pl\u00e1\u017ei, a na obzoru mrakodrapy, no nen\u00ed to ka\u017ed\u00e9ho sen?<\/p>\n

6. U atrakc\u00ed nab\u00edzeli parkov\u00e1n\u00ed za 13 dolar\u016f. To se mi, chud\u00e9mu um\u011blci, zd\u00e1lo p\u0159\u00edli\u0161. S ohrnut\u00fdm nos\u00e1nkem jsem krou\u017eila d\u00e1l. Vedle DMV bylo soukrom\u00e9 parkov\u00e1n\u00ed pro zam\u011bstnance, plus McDonald s v\u00fdhr\u016f\u017enou cedul\u00ed „neparkujte tady pokud jdete na DMV“. \u00a0V t\u00e9 chv\u00edli se mi cht\u011blo nechat auto uprost\u0159ed silnice (jako to d\u011bl\u00e1 furt spousta m\u00edstn\u00edch)<\/em> a trochu si pobre\u010det (jako to d\u011bl\u00e1m furt j\u00e1<\/em>), ne\u017e dojdu k rozhodnut\u00ed co d\u00e1l. Ale za\u010dal na m\u011b troubit \u017elut\u00fd \u0161koln\u00ed autobus, jeho\u017e \u0161ikan\u011b jsem okam\u017eit\u011b podlehla a ani\u017e bych sta\u010dila zam\u00e1\u010dknout slzu, jala jsem se teda je\u0161t\u011b d\u00e1l hledat kam p\u00edchnout sv\u00e9ho hybrida s \u0159asama.<\/p>\n

7. Kone\u010dn\u011b jsem vedle budovy z druh\u00e9 strany DMV na\u0161la ceduli „DMV parking<\/em>“ Hur\u00e1! B\u016fh mne miluje! Vjela jsem tam a \u00fapln\u011b c\u00edtila jak mn\u011b zal\u00e9v\u00e1 radost a energie. Ta vydr\u017eela zhruba ne\u017e jsem ve\u0161la na \u00fa\u0159ad, kde byla asi miliarda lid\u00ed, hrozn\u011b moc front, p\u0159\u00ed\u0161ernej maglajz a hluk. Hluk nesn\u00e1\u0161\u00edm dob\u0159e. Ano, je mo\u017en\u00e9 \u017ee kdy\u017e \u010dlov\u011bk vyroste na Mal\u00e9 Stran\u011b a posledn\u00edch 10 let \u017eivota d\u011bl\u00e1 pr\u00e1vn\u00edka v zazoban\u00e9 firm\u011b kter\u00e1 mu sk\u00e1\u010de na ruku a p\u0159izp\u016fsobuje sv\u016fj chod jeho absurdn\u00edm po\u017eadavk\u016fm, stane se z n\u011bj tak trochu rozmazlenec co se pak hrout\u00ed z fronti\u010dky a hlu\u010d\u00ed\u010dku. \u00a0Bylo t\u0159eba do toho hodit vidle.<\/p>\n

8. S odvahou jsem p\u0159istoupila ke front\u011b kter\u00e1 vedla k elektronick\u00e9mu syst\u00e9mu na vyd\u00e1v\u00e1n\u00ed po\u0159adov\u00fdch \u010d\u00edsel. Na\u0161t\u011bst\u00ed ti co m\u011bli rezervaci m\u011bli vlastn\u00ed \u010d\u00edseln\u00edk, u kter\u00e9ho byla fronta minim\u00e1ln\u00ed. Hur\u00e1, prvn\u00ed \u00fasp\u011bch. P\u0159\u00edstroj mne poslal k p\u0159ep\u00e1\u017ece 2. Tam byla dal\u0161\u00ed fronta. Po vyst\u00e1n\u00ed fronty jsem obdr\u017eela formul\u00e1\u0159e, uk\u00e1zala v\u0161echny svoje dokumenty a dostala dal\u0161\u00ed \u010d\u00edslo, na jeho\u017e vyhl\u00e1\u0161en\u00ed m\u00e1m \u010dekat. Vy\u0161lo najevo \u017ee ta rezervace je dobr\u00e1 POUZE na tu prvn\u00ed frontu k \u010d\u00edseln\u00edku!!!!! Velk\u00e9 zklam\u00e1n\u00ed, pon\u011bvad\u017e m\u011b \u010dekaly je\u0161t\u011b 4 dal\u0161\u00ed fronty.<\/p>\n

9. B\u011bhem nich\u017e bylo nutn\u00e9 po\u0159\u00e1d n\u011bkomu ukazovat (ty sam\u00e9)<\/em> dokumenty. Kter\u00e9 maj\u00ed ka\u017ed\u00fd jinou velikost a texturu (co\u017e je blb\u00e9, proto\u017ee se nadaj\u00ed d\u00e1t do jedn\u00e9 obalky nebo dr\u017eet n\u011bjak\u00fdm rozumn\u00fdm zp\u016fsobem)<\/em>, a z\u00e1rove\u0148 na v\u00e1s v\u0161ichni d\u011bsn\u011b sp\u011bchaj\u00ed, tak\u017ee neust\u00e1le hroz\u00ed \u017ee si n\u011bjak\u00fd ten pap\u00edr n\u011bkde zapomenete, nebo v\u00e1m upadne, p\u0159\u00edpadn\u011b se samovzn\u00edt\u00ed v moment\u011b kdy ho nejv\u00edc pot\u0159ebujete. Jeliko\u017e m\u00e1m celo\u017eivotn\u00ed pov\u011bst \u010dlov\u011bka, kter\u00fd z\u00e1sadn\u011b ztr\u00e1c\u00ed ty nejd\u016fle\u017eit\u011bj\u0161\u00ed dokumenty (a proto mu u\u017e od mali\u010dka rodina \u0159\u00edkala, \u017ee by rozhodn\u011b nem\u011bl b\u00fdt pr\u00e1vn\u00edk)<\/em>, docela mne stresovalo, \u017ee se tomu stane i dnes. Posledn\u00ed co bych cht\u011bla by bylo muset si tu znova vy\u0159\u00edzovat karti\u010dku na soci\u00e1ln\u00ed poji\u0161t\u011bn\u00ed. To byla no\u010dn\u00ed m\u016fra i s tou sekret\u00e1\u0159kou po boku.<\/p>\n

10. Asi po hodin\u011b a p\u016fl a o 4 fronty a ok\u00e9nka pozd\u011bji jsem to ale m\u011bla za sebou. Z\u00e1chvat paniky jsem dostala jen jednou a to v situaci kdy jsem zrakem padla na v\u00fdhr\u016f\u017en\u011b zn\u011bj\u00edc\u00ed n\u00e1pis „m\u00e1te ty spr\u00e1vn\u00e9 dokumenty?<\/em>“ kter\u00fd mi visel \u00a0nad hlavou a kter\u00fd mi p\u0159i\u0161lo \u017ee p\u0159edpov\u00edd\u00e1 \u017ee nebudu m\u00edt v\u0161echny spr\u00e1vn\u00e9 dokumenty a\u017e na m\u011b dojde \u0159ada a pokud n\u00e1hodou ano, tak je ur\u010dit\u011b nebudu m\u00edt a\u017e budu odch\u00e1zet proto\u017ee polovinu z nich poztr\u00e1c\u00edm p\u0159i jednom z t\u011bch 4 p\u0159esun\u016f od ok\u00fdnka k ok\u00e9nku. Ale na\u0161t\u011bst\u00ed se tak nestalo. Do auta sem dorazila s pln\u00fdm po\u010dtem dokument\u016f a nov\u00fdm \u0159idi\u010d\u00e1kem. Ta euforie! Tak\u017ee kdy\u017e jsem pak odj\u00ed\u017ed\u011bla z parkovi\u0161t\u011b, a vr\u00e1tn\u00fd m\u011b zinkasoval o 15 dolar\u016f, ani to tolik nebolelo. Kec\u00e1m samoz\u0159ejm\u011b, obre\u010dela jsem je hned za parkovi\u0161t\u011bm. Takovej je holt \u00a0te\u010f m\u016fj \u017eivot.<\/p>\n

\"cedule\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

1. Jeliko\u017e u\u017e nejsem bohat\u00fd pr\u00e1vn\u00edk, co m\u00e1 na v\u0161echno n\u011bjak\u00e9 pomocn\u00e9 s\u00edly, n\u00fdbr\u017e chud\u00fd um\u011blec, kter\u00fd si mus\u00ed skoro v\u0161echno d\u011blat s\u00e1m, bylo nutn\u00e9 v\u010dera podstoupit hr\u016fzu hr\u016fzouc\u00ed ve form\u011b n\u00e1v\u0161t\u011bvy \u00fa\u0159adu pro motorov\u00e1 vozidla (neboli „department of motor vehicles“ aka DMV) a vlastnoru\u010dn\u011b si vy\u0159\u00eddit nov\u00fd \u0159idi\u010d\u00e1k. 2. M\u016f\u017eu akor\u00e1t tak zam\u00e1\u010dknout slzu … Pokra\u010dov\u00e1n\u00ed textu Krutom\u00fdval: Kr\u00e1lovstv\u00ed za Saturnina!<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_editorskit_title_hidden":false,"_editorskit_reading_time":0,"_editorskit_is_block_options_detached":false,"_editorskit_block_options_position":"{}"},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2386"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2386"}],"version-history":[{"count":25,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2386\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2412,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2386\/revisions\/2412"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2386"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2386"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2386"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}