{"id":364,"date":"2013-12-28T16:43:59","date_gmt":"2013-12-28T15:43:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/?p=364"},"modified":"2014-01-13T19:00:08","modified_gmt":"2014-01-13T18:00:08","slug":"krutomyval-mily-synatore-i","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/?p=364","title":{"rendered":"Krutom\u00fdval: Mil\u00fd Syn\u00e1tore (I)"},"content":{"rendered":"

1. Mil\u00fd Syn\u00e1tore. Tento dopis asi otev\u00edr\u00e1\u0161 dne 17.12. 2031, kdys dovr\u0161il osmn\u00e1cti let, nicm\u00e9n\u011b mo\u017en\u00e1 tyhle \u0159\u00e1dky \u010dte\u0161 d\u0159\u00edve, nebo pozd\u011bji. Proto\u017ee \u00a0je zjevn\u00e9\u00a0(i vzhledem k tomu \u017ee si v\u016fbec na sv\u011bt\u011b<\/em>), \u017ee nedok\u00e1\u017eu odhadovat budoucnost, pamatuj \u017ee p\u00ed\u0161u v\u011bci tak, jak se maj\u00ed ke dne\u0161n\u00edmu dni.<\/p>\n

2. Tedy: tvou matku m\u00e1m aktivn\u011b nerad.Tebe pouze nem\u00e1m r\u00e1d. Tvou tetu z mat\u010diny strany m\u00e1m naopak r\u00e1d docela dost. Ale h\u00e1d\u00e1m, \u017ee tyhle v\u011bci se m\u016f\u017eou e\u0161t\u011b zm\u011bnit. \u00a0Zejm\u00e9na to s tetou, proto\u017ee podle v\u010derej\u0161\u00edho v\u00fdstupu kter\u00fd mi ud\u011blala, pot\u00e9 co sem j\u00ed sd\u011blil, \u017ee genetick\u00fd rozbor<\/a> tv\u00fdch a m\u00fdch vzork\u016f potvrdil, \u017ee sem asi tv\u016fj pap\u00e1, a faktu, \u017ee jej\u00ed hyster\u00e1k zahrnoval slova „chc\u00edpni, ty ulhanej nev\u011brnej amor\u00e1ln\u00ed debile“<\/em>, to vypad\u00e1, \u017ee jej\u00ed city ke m\u011b podstatn\u011b ochladly, a t\u00edmp\u00e1dem je nasnad\u011b o\u010dek\u00e1vat \u017ee ochladnou i ty moje.<\/p>\n

3. Ale m\u016fj vztah s tvoj\u00ed te\u010f ji\u017e jist\u011b vr\u00e1s\u010ditou a neatraktivn\u00ed teti\u010dkou t\u011b v\u016fbec nemus\u00ed zaj\u00edmat. A to, co bylo mezi mnou a tvoj\u00ed matkou (\u0161\u00edlen\u00e1 manipul\u00e1torka, vi\u010f?<\/em>) a kter\u00e9 v\u0161echny otvory to zahrnovalo, by t\u011b zaj\u00edmat nem\u011blo. Pro tvoje vlastn\u00ed dobro.<\/p>\n

4. A mezi n\u00e1ma dv\u011bma, k\u00e1mo, nen\u00ed nic. Mimo n\u011bjak\u00e9 DNA, pen\u011bz co po m\u011b ty parchante zd\u011bd\u00ed\u0161 a pen\u011bz, co ode dne\u0161ka do tvejch zatracenejch \u0161estadvaceti nebo kolika, budu muset pos\u00edlat na tvou jist\u011b nenasytnou v\u00fd\u017eivu. \u00a0 (Na drah\u00e9 lekce golfu zapome\u0148, to je pro znud\u011bn\u00fd buzeranty, to z tebe snad nevyroste. A tenis je jen pro chlapy s mal\u00fdm p\u00e9rem, co\u017e se ti, pokud si aspo\u0148 trochu po m\u011b, vyhlo. M\u00e1\u0161 za moje lov\u00e1\u010de ov\u0161em povoleno d\u011blat n\u011bjak\u00fd mu\u017en\u00fd sport, jako t\u0159eba Muay-Thai. )<\/em> Tak\u017ee j\u00e1 t\u011b nem\u00e1m u\u017e v\u016fbec co zaj\u00edmat.<\/p>\n

5. Ale proto\u017ee si asi stejn\u011b nemo\u017en\u00fd hovado jako j\u00e1, tak bude\u0161 cht\u00edt strkat ryp\u00e1k do v\u0161eho v\u00fd\u0161e zm\u00edn\u011bn\u00e9ho. Nu\u017ee posly\u0161, s tvoj\u00ed matkou sme se dohodli, \u017ee sem uhynul hrdinnou smrt\u00ed, jako tv\u016fj prad\u011bde\u010dek, u v\u0161ech \u0161lapek v regionu proslaven\u00fd\u00a0\u00a0bosensk\u00fd n\u00e1mo\u0159n\u00edk. P\u0159edpokl\u00e1d\u00e1m, \u017ee t\u00edmhle t\u011b m\u00e1ti krmila prvn\u00edch 18 let tv\u00e9ho b\u00eddn\u00e9ho \u017eivota, a dnes ses dozv\u011bd\u011bl pravdu. \u017de (teda<\/em>\u00a0jestli m\u011b e\u0161t\u011b nezabil koks, d\u011bvky nebo Fidel<\/em>) nejen \u017eiju, ale nav\u00edc sem nikdy nebyl n\u00e1mo\u0159n\u00edk. Vsad\u00edm se, \u017ee si zklamanej. Sem ti \u0159ikal, \u017ee se vo tenhle p\u0159\u00edb\u011bh nem\u00e1\u0161 rad\u0161i v\u016fbec zaj\u00edmat. Matka je p\u011bkn\u00e1 kr\u00e1va, \u017ee ti to \u0159ekla, ne? M\u011bla ti d\u00e1l lh\u00e1t, jak sem po n\u00ed cht\u011bl.<\/p>\n

6. Bude\u0161 asi taky p\u011bkn\u011b nasranej, \u017ee sem se ti cel\u00fd ty roky neozval. Proto ti hned z\u00edtra zalo\u017e\u00edm konto „terapeut<\/em>„, kam budu ukl\u00e1dat t\u00fddn\u011b 100 dolar\u016f, a a\u017e ti bude 18, m\u016f\u017ee\u0161 tyhle fondy pou\u017e\u00edt na 935 sezen\u00ed s psychiatrem. To by m\u011blo asi k tomu, aby ses dostal p\u0159es trauma, \u017ee fotr je nadr\u017een\u00e1 nespolehliv\u00e1 kurva, kter\u00e1 si na tebe nikdy neud\u011blala \u010das, snad sta\u010dit. No nejsem j\u00e1 prakticky sv\u011btec?<\/p>\n

7. Ale abys ne\u0159\u00edkal, \u017ee sem fakt mega hajzl, d\u00e1m ti mimo pen\u011bz a fantastick\u00e9 genetick\u00e9 v\u00fdbavy, je\u0161t\u011b n\u011bco. P\u00e1r rad do \u017eivota.<\/p>\n

8. Tak za prv\u00e9: nemysli jen pt\u00e1kem. D\u011blal bys pak takov\u00fd hovadiny, jako j\u00e1, kdy\u017e sem se p\u0159ed 9 m\u011bs\u00edcema vyspal s tvoj\u00ed matkou, v\u00edcem\u00e9n\u011b jen proto, \u017ee bo\u017esky kroutila zadkem. Nav\u00edc, chlap, kterej mysl\u00ed jen pt\u00e1kem nejen\u017ee d\u011bl\u00e1 kraviny, ale e\u0161t\u011b pak p\u016fsob\u00ed jako d\u011bsn\u011bj debil. Jestli mi nev\u011b\u0159\u00ed\u0161, p\u0159e\u010dti si rozhovor s Petrem Ne\u010dasem (jo, mus\u00ed\u0161 si prvn\u00ed vygooglovat kdo to byl)<\/em> z leto\u0161n\u00edho v\u00e1no\u010dn\u00edho dvoj\u010d\u00edsla Reflexu.<\/p>\n

9. Za druh\u00e9: nemysli jen mozkem. \u017divot je vod toho, aby se \u017eil. Doporu\u010duju vyzkou\u0161et v\u0161echny dostupn\u00e9 drogy a vojet co nejv\u00edce \u017een (ale asi si nejd\u0159\u00edv nech prov\u00e9st vasektomii, nechce\u0161 p\u0159ece dopadnout jako j\u00e1 a omylem zplodit n\u011bjak\u00e9ho blba) a<\/em>\u00a0nebr\u00e1nit se \u017e\u00e1dn\u00e9mu dobrodru\u017estv\u00ed. \u00a0Pro inspiraci si p\u0159e\u010dti pov\u00eddku Jamese Thurbera: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. M\u00e1 jen 4 str\u00e1nky, ty ignorante, to snad zvl\u00e1dne\u0161, ne? Pokud se\u0161 ale a\u017e tak nemo\u017enej, \u017ee se ti \u010d\u00edst nechce, aspo\u0148 se koukni na film stejn\u00e9ho jm\u00e9na. Ide\u00e1ln\u011b verzi z roku 1947, ale i ta z leto\u0161ka je dobr\u00e1. Tak, vid\u00ed\u0161 jak to dopadne s lidma, co se boj\u00ed \u017e\u00edt \u017eivot?<\/p>\n

10. \u00a0V\u0161echno ostatn\u00ed je irelevantn\u00ed. A p\u0159ijde\u0161 na to \u010dasem s\u00e1m. Ale pokud bych si e\u0161t\u011b vzpomn\u011bl na n\u011bjakou radu, jej\u00ed\u017e ud\u011blen\u00ed pro tv\u016fj \u017eivot pova\u017euju za z\u00e1sadn\u00ed, zase nap\u00ed\u0161u. Zdu\u0159.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

1. Mil\u00fd Syn\u00e1tore. Tento dopis asi otev\u00edr\u00e1\u0161 dne 17.12. 2031, kdys dovr\u0161il osmn\u00e1cti let, nicm\u00e9n\u011b mo\u017en\u00e1 tyhle \u0159\u00e1dky \u010dte\u0161 d\u0159\u00edve, nebo pozd\u011bji. Proto\u017ee \u00a0je zjevn\u00e9\u00a0(i vzhledem k tomu \u017ee si v\u016fbec na sv\u011bt\u011b), \u017ee nedok\u00e1\u017eu odhadovat budoucnost, pamatuj \u017ee p\u00ed\u0161u v\u011bci tak, jak se maj\u00ed ke dne\u0161n\u00edmu dni.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_editorskit_title_hidden":false,"_editorskit_reading_time":0,"_editorskit_is_block_options_detached":false,"_editorskit_block_options_position":"{}"},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/364"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=364"}],"version-history":[{"count":13,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/364\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":498,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/364\/revisions\/498"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=364"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=364"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=364"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}