{"id":379,"date":"2014-01-05T16:12:33","date_gmt":"2014-01-05T15:12:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/?p=379"},"modified":"2014-01-06T02:43:39","modified_gmt":"2014-01-06T01:43:39","slug":"krutomyval-hypochondr-a-fetak-se-probira-z-komatu","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/?p=379","title":{"rendered":"Krutom\u00fdval: hypochondr a fe\u0165\u00e1k se prob\u00edr\u00e1 z k\u00f3matu"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">1. Uff uff. N\u011bjakou dobu mi to teda trvalo, p\u0159izn\u00e1v\u00e1m. Vzpamatovat se z bou\u0159liv\u00fdch oslav p\u0159\u00edchodu Nov\u00e9ho Roku. Ale j\u00e1 sem v\u00e1s varoval, \u017ee to nebude jen tak \u0148\u00e1kej ve\u010der.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">2. P\u016fvodn\u011b se mnou do NYC slavit Silvestra m\u011bla jet i Alfa, ale jak se d\u00edky ne\u0161\u0165astn\u00e9 n\u00e1hod\u011b uk\u00e1zalo 28.12. 2013, sem <a href=\"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/?p=364\">ulhanej amor\u00e1ln\u00ed debil<\/a> a Silvestra se mnou slavit m\u016f\u017ee cht\u00edt jen bl\u00e1zen, nebo parta podobn\u011b posti\u017eenejch jedinc\u016f, mezi n\u011b\u017e Alfa \u00fadajn\u011b nepat\u0159\u00ed.<!--more--><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">3. Tak\u017ee se, asi po vzoru Jany Dole\u017ealov\u00e9, rozhodla se mnou nad\u00e1le v partnersk\u00e9m a bohu\u017eel ani sexu\u00e1ln\u00edm \u017eivot\u011b <em>(prozat\u00edm, hehe, Jane\u010dek i j\u00e1 v\u00edme, \u017ee pen\u00edze sou mocn\u00e9 afrodisiakum)<\/em> nepo\u010d\u00edtat a dokonce ob\u011btovala i ten New York.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">4. Do Central Parku o p\u016flnoci sem tedy dorazil ve slo\u017een\u00ed t\u011bchto individu\u00ed: kamar\u00e1d neurochirurg, co nezkaz\u00ed \u017e\u00e1dnou legraci a v\u017edy m\u00e1 u sebe n\u011bjak\u00e9 prima drogy, internista, co si cht\u011bl v NYC odpo\u010dinout od \u010desk\u00e9ho zdravotnictv\u00ed <em>(tak\u017ee za\u010dal chlastat Morgana u\u017e na Havlovi, jen co mu p\u0159\u00edtelka zmizela z dohledu, a nep\u0159estal a\u017e do Central Parku, kde mu rum do\u0161el)<\/em> a ex-kolega kriminalista, co se hlavn\u011b t\u011b\u0161il na americk\u00fd \u0161lapky. A co si s sebou pro jistotu vzal sv\u016fj policejn\u00ed odznak a pr\u016fkazku, p\u00e1\u010d \u00a0ze zku\u0161enost\u00ed v\u00ed, \u017ee pak mu lecos projde.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">5. \u00a0Tak\u017ee na Silvestra sem b\u011b\u017eel\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/?p=324\">z\u00e1vod<\/a>. Central Parkem, 7 km, pod \u0161ir\u00fdm no\u010dn\u00edm nebem a tak\u00e9 p\u0159\u00edmo pod velkolep\u00fdm\u00a0Manhattansk\u00fdm oh\u0148ostrojem. Pro zpest\u0159en\u00ed n\u00e1m do toho e\u0161t\u011b po cest\u011b organiz\u00e1to\u0159i d\u011blali prima laserovou show a dj hr\u00e1l se\u010d mu gramce nezamrzaly.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">6. Pr\u00e1v\u011b to zamrz\u00e1n\u00ed byl ale asi nejv\u011bt\u0161\u00ed probl\u00e9m. Venku m\u00ednus osm a prudk\u00fd v\u00edtr. B\u011b\u017eet se mi samo\u0159ejm\u011b nikam necht\u011blo. Ale jako spr\u00e1vnej chlap p\u0159eci dost\u00e1v\u00e1m sv\u00fdm z\u00e1vazk\u016fm (<em>pokud nenesou moj\u00ed DNA<\/em>), tak\u017ee sem se nechal Neurochirurgem po\u0159\u00e1dn\u011b nadopovat, Internista se se mnou pod\u011blil o p\u016flku sv\u00e9ho \u00a0zbytku rumu a policajt mi \u0161el s odznakem v ruce do davu k\u0159ep\u010d\u00edc\u00edch holek vyb\u00edrat tu, co m\u011bla v silonk\u00e1ch nejm\u00e9n\u011b promodral\u00e9 nohy a bude tedy pravd\u011bpodobn\u011b pozd\u011bjc e\u0161t\u011b schopna n\u011bjak\u00fdch postelov\u00fdch v\u00fdkon\u016f.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">7. J\u00e1 sem si vyzvedl registra\u010dn\u00ed \u010d\u00edslo, a \u0161el na start. A sp\u00edlal v\u0161em boh\u016fm za to po\u010das\u00ed. Odbila p\u016flnoc a dav p\u011bti tis\u00edc adrenalinu (<em>a smrti na podchlazen\u00ed<\/em>) chtiv\u00fdch am\u00edk\u016f vyb\u011bhl i se mnou. P\u0159es ve\u0161kerej vopruz stra\u0161liv\u011b studen\u00fdho a nep\u0159\u00edjemn\u00fdho vichru, k\u00f3r v parku, kde ho nekoriguj\u00ed budovy jako ve m\u011bst\u011b, mus\u00edm \u0159\u00edct, \u017ee z\u00e1\u017eitek to byl p\u011bknej. V u\u0161\u00edch sem m\u011bl svoje oblig\u00e1tn\u00ed Get Lucky na repeat a ne\u017e se Daft Pank vym\u00e1\u010dkli posedm\u00e9, byl sem v c\u00edli.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">8. Kde na m\u011b \u010dekali nejen t\u0159i nadr\u017een\u00ed chlapi p\u0159imrzl\u00ed k c\u00edlov\u00e9 p\u00e1sce, s <em>&#8222;i wish you were dead&#8220;<\/em> v o\u010d\u00edch, <em>(prej jim mezit\u00edm do\u0161ly drogy i rum, a kv\u016fli terorismu byla v Parku takov\u00e1 kontrola a omezen\u00ed, \u017ee se tam nedalo koupit nic z tohodle proviantu. Internista pak sice na\u0161el na zemi s\u00e1\u010dek se z\u00e1hadnejma pipllkama, ale Anesteziolog oborn\u011b prohl\u00e1sil, \u017ee to se &#8222;\u017er\u00e1t nebude&#8220;.)<\/em> ale hlavn\u011b 5 pekeln\u011b sexy holek, co bylo p\u0159\u00edjemn\u011b podnapilejch tak\u017ee jim byla jedno ta zima a \u0161lo jim hlavn\u011b o to tleskat <em>&#8222;hrdinovi<\/em>&#8220; co v t\u00e9 zim\u011b dob\u011bhl z\u00e1vod. \u00a0Nav\u00edc z\u00e1vod s charitativn\u00edm \u00fa\u010delem. \u00a0Nebudu si malovat, \u017ee t\u011bm ro\u0161t\u011bnk\u00e1m nebylo jedno kdo to byl, hlavn\u011b \u017ee nakonec \u0161li domu se mnou. Teda s n\u00e1ma. Se p\u0159eci pod\u011bl\u00edm.\u00a0No nejsem j\u00e1 prakticky sv\u011btec?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">9. N\u00e1sleduj\u00edc\u00ed 3 dny si moc nepamatuju (<em>proto\u017ee doma sem samoz\u0159ejm\u011b mimo Skyy m\u011bl i z\u00e1sobu r\u016fzn\u00fdch jin\u00fdch povzbuzuj\u00edc\u00edch prost\u0159edk\u016f<\/em>), ale p\u0159evl\u00e1daj\u00edc\u00ed pocit je dobr\u00fd. Tu a tam ze zm\u011bti m\u00fdch omamn\u011b rozplizl\u00fdch vzpom\u00ednek tr\u010d\u00ed n\u011bjak\u00e1 lidsk\u00e1 noha, prso nebo ruka, ale na\u0161t\u011bst\u00ed jen ty \u017eensk\u00e9. Co d\u011blali kump\u00e1ni v t\u00e9 dob\u011b nev\u00edm, a nem\u00e1m z\u00e1jem to ji\u0161\u0165ovat. Proto\u017ee mo\u017en\u00e1 d\u00edky bohu za to kr\u00e1tk\u00e9 okno.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">10. V\u010dera sem se n\u011bjak dal aspo\u0148 trochu dohromady, \u00a0dokonce to vypad\u00e1, \u017ee nebudu m\u00edt z\u00e1pal plic, kter\u00e9ho sem se p\u016fvodn\u011b ob\u00e1val, a odpoledne se mi povedlo \u00a0vystrnadit ty \u0161lapky \u00a0 z m\u00e9ho bytu, a k\u00e1mo\u0161e vyhnat ven pozn\u00e1vat &#8222;<em>kr\u00e1sy zasn\u011b\u017een\u00e9ho New Yorku<\/em>&#8220; tak\u017ee m\u00e1m zase trochu klidu. Vyspal sem se (<em>18 hodin sp\u00e1nku fakt pom\u016f\u017ee lec\u010demu).<\/em>\u00a0Poprv\u00e9 po 5 dnech se d\u00edv\u00e1m na mail a telefon. Kdo by to byl \u0159ekl, \u017ee 14tidenn\u00ed harant mi je schopen poslat mmsku, kde mi p\u0159eje &#8222;H<em>ezk\u00fd Nov\u00fd Rok, Tat\u00ednku<\/em>&#8222;? To abych si rovnou s\u00e1hnul po dal\u0161\u00ed lahvi. Nebo provazu?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/Midnight_Run01.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-381\" alt=\"Midnight_Run01\" src=\"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/Midnight_Run01.jpg\" width=\"966\" height=\"522\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/Midnight_Run01.jpg 966w, https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/Midnight_Run01-300x162.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 966px) 100vw, 966px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/Midnight_Together13.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-382\" alt=\"Midnight_Together13\" src=\"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/Midnight_Together13.jpg\" width=\"604\" height=\"326\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/Midnight_Together13.jpg 966w, https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/Midnight_Together13-300x162.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 604px) 100vw, 604px\" \/><\/a>zdroj foto: New York Road Runners.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>1. Uff uff. N\u011bjakou dobu mi to teda trvalo, p\u0159izn\u00e1v\u00e1m. Vzpamatovat se z bou\u0159liv\u00fdch oslav p\u0159\u00edchodu Nov\u00e9ho Roku. Ale j\u00e1 sem v\u00e1s varoval, \u017ee to nebude jen tak \u0148\u00e1kej ve\u010der. 2. P\u016fvodn\u011b se mnou do NYC slavit Silvestra m\u011bla jet i Alfa, ale jak se d\u00edky ne\u0161\u0165astn\u00e9 n\u00e1hod\u011b uk\u00e1zalo 28.12. 2013, sem ulhanej amor\u00e1ln\u00ed debil &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/?p=379\" class=\"more-link\">Pokra\u010dov\u00e1n\u00ed textu <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Krutom\u00fdval: hypochondr a fe\u0165\u00e1k se prob\u00edr\u00e1 z k\u00f3matu<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_editorskit_title_hidden":false,"_editorskit_reading_time":0,"_editorskit_is_block_options_detached":false,"_editorskit_block_options_position":"{}"},"categories":[6,4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/379"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=379"}],"version-history":[{"count":23,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/379\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":406,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/379\/revisions\/406"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=379"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=379"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=379"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}