{"id":57,"date":"2013-11-04T20:03:14","date_gmt":"2013-11-04T19:03:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/?p=57"},"modified":"2013-11-04T21:23:28","modified_gmt":"2013-11-04T20:23:28","slug":"krutomyval-skoncim-jako-znasilnovac","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/?p=57","title":{"rendered":"Krutom\u00fdval: skon\u010d\u00edm jako zn\u00e1sil\u0148ova\u010d?"},"content":{"rendered":"

1. V m\u00e9m \u017eivot\u011b p\u0159ibyla osoba, jej\u00ed\u017e jm\u00e9no (a nejen to<\/em>) m\u00e1m posledn\u00ed dobou na mysli \u010dast\u011bji, ne\u017e by mo\u017en\u00e1 bylo pro osobu pokristova v\u011bku a velev\u00e1\u017een\u00e9ho postaven\u00ed vhodn\u00e9.<\/p>\n

2. Ano, h\u00e1d\u00e1te spr\u00e1vn\u011b, do s\u00edt\u011b m\u00e9ho zorn\u00e9ho pole se dostala dal\u0161\u00ed mu\u0161ka (jenom zlat\u00e1).<\/em><\/p>\n

3. Probl\u00e9m s touhle d\u00edvkou, \u0159\u00edkejme j\u00ed t\u0159eba Zlatomu\u0161ka, \u00a0je ten, \u017ee nejen\u017ee je \u00fadajn\u011b velmi v\u00e1\u017en\u011b zadan\u00e1, ale je\u0161t\u011b nav\u00edc to vypad\u00e1, \u017ee nehodl\u00e1 ten svazek nijak naru\u0161it t\u00edm, \u017ee by se mi v\u011bnovala v\u00edce, ne\u017e by se „snoubenci<\/em>“ l\u00edbilo.<\/p>\n

4. To m\u011b samoz\u0159ejm\u011b drt\u00ed, proto\u017ee Zlatomu\u0161ka se mi moc l\u00edb\u00ed. \u00a0Potkal sem j\u00ed poprv\u00e9 p\u0159ed n\u011bkolika m\u011bs\u00edci na akci, kam n\u00e1s pozval spole\u010dn\u00fd zn\u00e1m\u00fd (a bohu\u017eel i toho jej\u00edho otravn\u00e9ho pa\u0148\u00e1cu z Wall Street)<\/em>, a kde m\u011b okam\u017eit\u011b zaujala nejen zlatav\u00fdmi kade\u0159emi, smysln\u00fdmi rt\u00edky a ladnou ch\u016fz\u00ed, \u00a0ale hlavn\u011b t\u00edm, \u017ee si t\u00e9m\u011b\u0159 neznateln\u011b, ale pro tr\u00e9novan\u00e9 ucho perverzn\u00edho M\u00fdvala naprosto z\u0159eteln\u011b, \u0161lape na jazyk. Oh la la!<\/p>\n

5. Abyste tomu rozum\u011bli. Kdy\u017e mi bylo asi 7, poprv\u00e9 sem se v\u00e1\u017en\u011b zamiloval. Do dru\u017ein\u00e1\u0159ky. \u00a0Z m\u00e9ho tehdej\u0161\u00edho pohledu to byla dosp\u011bl\u00e1 osoba, ale kdy\u017e nad t\u00edm dnes tak p\u0159em\u00fd\u0161l\u00edm, tak jestli j\u00ed bylo v\u00edc jak 22 tak je to moc. \u00c1\u00e1ach! „Soudru\u017eka So\u0148a<\/em>“ to bylo n\u011bco.\u00a0(jojo, kdy\u017e mi bylo sedm, e\u0161t\u011b se hr\u00e1lo na soudru\u017eky)<\/em>. A Soni\u010dka, z kter\u00fd si dnes pamatuju jen to, \u017ee m\u011bla (op\u011bt z m\u00e9ho sedmilet\u00e9ho pohledu, tak\u017ee b\u016fhv\u00ed co byla realita)<\/em> velk\u00e1 prsa, tmav\u00e9 vlasy a kr\u00e1sn\u00fd \u00fasm\u011bv, m\u011b m\u011bla moc r\u00e1da. A j\u00e1 j\u00ed. Pamatuju si na x p\u0159\u00edpad\u016f, kdy m\u011b brala do n\u00e1ru\u010de a dodnes si vybav\u00edm, jak\u00e9 to bylo, c\u00edtit v tom objet\u00ed jej\u00ed prsa. B\u00e1je\u010dn\u00e9, pokud v\u00e1s to zaj\u00edm\u00e1. \u00a0No a Soni\u010dka si tro\u0161ku \u0161lapala na jazyk. A j\u00e1 j\u00ed miloval asi dva roky velmi intenzivn\u011b, ne\u017e na\u0161\u00ed dru\u017einu bez varov\u00e1n\u00ed opustila a zlomila mi tak srdce. Mrcha!<\/p>\n

6. Od t\u00e9 doby (zjistil sem v pubert\u011b<\/em>), m\u011b d\u011bsn\u011b berou sle\u010dny co maj\u00ed n\u011bjakou vadu \u0159e\u010di. R\u00e1\u010dkujete? \u0160i\u0161l\u00e1te? \u0160lapete si na jazyk? Kokt\u00e1te? Ozv\u011bte se mi!<\/p>\n

7. Nen\u00ed to tedy u m\u011b projev z\u00e1liby v \u00a0d\u011btsk\u00e9m vystupov\u00e1n\u00ed \u017een, v\u016fbec m\u011b neberou cul\u00ed\u010dky a r\u00e1doby nevinn\u00e9 nakrucov\u00e1n\u00ed a-la rozpustil\u00e1 \u0161kola\u010dka a podobn\u00e9 hovadiny. Moje zaujet\u00ed vadama \u0159e\u010di je \u010dist\u011b spojnice mezi mou prvn\u00ed l\u00e1skou a t\u011bma pocitama, co m\u011b p\u0159i n\u00ed prov\u00e1zely. Kter\u00e9 pr\u00e1v\u011b velmi dob\u0159e vyvol\u00e1v\u00e1, \u00a0kdy\u017e sly\u0161\u00edm n\u011bkoho si trochu p\u0159i\u0161lap\u00e1vat jaz\u00fd\u010dek. Jako t\u0159eba Zlatomu\u0161ku.<\/p>\n

8. Probl\u00e9m s t\u011bma „d\u011bsn\u011b v\u00e1\u017enejma<\/em>“ l\u00e1skama z dob prvn\u00edho stupn\u011b \u00a0a e\u0161t\u011b nav\u00edc k v\u00fdrazn\u011b star\u0161\u00edmu objektu je to, \u017ee v\u011bt\u0161inou (nebo aspo\u0148 v m\u00e9m p\u0159\u00edpad\u011b, hehe<\/em>) z\u016fstane pouze u sn\u011bn\u00ed a k realizaci t\u011blesn\u00e9ho vztahu bohu\u017eel nedojde. Ano, Soni\u010dka mi nikdy neuk\u00e1zala co m\u011bla pod tri\u010dkem. A tahle k\u0159ivda ve m\u011b asi z\u016fstala dodnes, co\u017e pozoruji zejm\u00e9na p\u0159itom, \u017ee m\u00e1m chu\u0165 okam\u017eit\u011b zmermomocnit t\u00e9m\u011b\u0159 ka\u017edou aspo\u0148 trochu atraktivn\u00ed \u017eenu, co \u0161i\u0161l\u00e1 a je j\u00ed nad \u00a015 a pod 50.<\/p>\n

9. Dosud se mi to v\u017edy povedlo. P\u00e1r dn\u016f \u010di t\u00fddn\u016f n\u011bjak\u00e9ho obluzov\u00e1n\u00ed a marn\u00fdch p\u0159\u00edslib\u016f m\u00e9 v\u011b\u010dn\u00e9 l\u00e1sky, \u010di co za podobn\u00e9 nesmysly \u017eeny cht\u011bj\u00ed, a bylo. T\u00edm m\u011b to p\u0159estalo v\u017edycky zaj\u00edmat a \u0161lo se d\u00e1l. Ale Zlatomu\u0161ka zat\u00edm sve\u0159ep\u011b odol\u00e1v\u00e1. \u010c\u00edm\u017e zp\u016fsobuje ov\u0161em jen to, \u017ee moje touha po n\u00ed se zn\u00e1sobuje neuv\u011b\u0159itelnou rychlost\u00ed. \u00a0A nyn\u00ed u\u017e t\u00e9m\u011b\u0159 po\u0159\u00e1d mysl\u00edm na to, jak se j\u00ed dostat pod sukn\u011b. A to nejhor\u0161\u00ed p\u0159ijde nyn\u00ed: u\u017e aspo\u0148 dva t\u00fddny sem DOBROVOLN\u011a nevid\u011bl \u017e\u00e1dn\u00e9 porno. Pro v\u00e1s, co m\u011b \u010dtete d\u00e9le, to mus\u00ed bejt \u0161okantn\u00ed zji\u0161t\u011bn\u00ed a asi se sami sebe pt\u00e1te, jestli mezit\u00edm trpasl\u00edci s Asiatkama neztrat\u00ed sv\u00e9 uplatn\u011bn\u00ed v pornopr\u016fmyslu. \u00a0No, nev\u00edm, budeme to v\u0161ichni muset risknout. \u00a0A pro\u010d teda nekouk\u00e1m na porno? Proto\u017ee Zlatomu\u0161ka toti\u017e \u00fato\u010d\u00ed na obyvatele NYC coby nad\u011bjn\u00e1 mlad\u00e1 televizn\u00ed producentka a docela se j\u00ed da\u0159\u00ed a d\u00edky tomu m\u00e1 \u00a0na netu p\u00e1r po\u0159ad\u016f, ve kter\u00fdch j\u00ed n\u011bkdo zpov\u00edd\u00e1 na t\u00e9ma, jak se j\u00ed to, \u010di ono povedlo. \u00a0Tak\u017ee si jej\u00ed rozko\u0161n\u011b nespr\u00e1vn\u00e9 vyslovov\u00e1n\u00ed sykavek \u00a0m\u016f\u017eu pou\u0161t\u011bt, kdy se mi zamane. A co p\u0159itom d\u011bl\u00e1m si asi um\u00edte domyslet. Mno.<\/p>\n

10. Z\u00edtra se mi j\u00ed povedlo pod fale\u0161nou z\u00e1minkou (kterou zde nebudu zmi\u0148ovat, abyste j\u00ed d\u00e1my pak n\u011bjak\u00e9mu tomu ryt\u00ed\u0159ovi, co ji na v\u00e1s bude zkou\u0161et zbyte\u010dn\u011b neprohl\u00e9dly<\/em>) vyt\u00e1hnout do kina. Kde hodl\u00e1m pod rou\u0161kou tmy opatrn\u011b, ale sebejist\u011b p\u0159ekro\u010dit \u010d\u00e1ru na\u0161eho dosavadn\u00edho „korektn\u00edho“<\/em> spole\u010densk\u00e9ho kontaktu a po kin\u011b vyt\u00e1hnout v\u0161echny trumfy z ruk\u00e1vu a doufat, \u017ee to n\u011bkam kone\u010dn\u011b povede. Proto\u017ee jestli to takhle pude d\u00e1l a ona mi ned\u00e1, bu\u010f se zvencnu, nebo j\u00ed budu muset zn\u00e1silnit. A vzhledem k tuzemsk\u00fdm sazb\u00e1m za zn\u00e1siln\u011bn\u00ed a nep\u011bkn\u00e9mu syst\u00e9mu umo\u017e\u0148uj\u00edc\u00ed psychiatrick\u00fdm instituc\u00edm dr\u017eet sv\u00e9 pacienty uvnit\u0159 n\u00e1sil\u00edm t\u0159eba na do\u017eivot\u00ed, bych fakt rad\u0161i, aby si p\u0159estala hr\u00e1t na nedobytnou a prost\u011b mi dala. Nebo sakry\u0161, a\u0165 si urychlen\u011b se\u017eene logopeda, proto\u017ee jinak za sebe \u00a0neru\u010d\u00edm! Dr\u017ee mi (a mo\u017en\u00e1 i j\u00ed)<\/em> tedy na z\u00edt\u0159ek palce.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

1. V m\u00e9m \u017eivot\u011b p\u0159ibyla osoba, jej\u00ed\u017e jm\u00e9no (a nejen to) m\u00e1m posledn\u00ed dobou na mysli \u010dast\u011bji, ne\u017e by mo\u017en\u00e1 bylo pro osobu pokristova v\u011bku a velev\u00e1\u017een\u00e9ho postaven\u00ed vhodn\u00e9. 2. Ano, h\u00e1d\u00e1te spr\u00e1vn\u011b, do s\u00edt\u011b m\u00e9ho zorn\u00e9ho pole se dostala dal\u0161\u00ed mu\u0161ka (jenom zlat\u00e1). 3. Probl\u00e9m s touhle d\u00edvkou, \u0159\u00edkejme j\u00ed t\u0159eba Zlatomu\u0161ka, \u00a0je ten, … Pokra\u010dov\u00e1n\u00ed textu Krutom\u00fdval: skon\u010d\u00edm jako zn\u00e1sil\u0148ova\u010d?<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_editorskit_title_hidden":false,"_editorskit_reading_time":0,"_editorskit_is_block_options_detached":false,"_editorskit_block_options_position":"{}"},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=57"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":69,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57\/revisions\/69"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=57"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=57"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=57"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}