{"id":685,"date":"2014-03-14T17:32:58","date_gmt":"2014-03-14T16:32:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/?p=685"},"modified":"2014-03-14T19:53:59","modified_gmt":"2014-03-14T18:53:59","slug":"krutomyval-mily-synatore-vii","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/?p=685","title":{"rendered":"Krutom\u00fdval: Mil\u00fd Syn\u00e1tore (VII)"},"content":{"rendered":"

1. Synu, tak prej ti v pond\u011bl\u00ed budou 3 m\u011bs\u00edce. Netu\u0161il sem, \u017ee to je n\u011b\u010d\u00edm v\u00fdznamn\u00e9, ale podle po\u010dtu smsek, ve kter\u00fdch mi to tvoje matka sd\u011bluje, a mmsek, kde je zachycenej tv\u016fj st\u00e1le je\u0161t\u011b krtkokrysu nejv\u00edc p\u0159ipom\u00ednaj\u00edc\u00ed ksicht, s dov\u011btky „pod\u00edvej jak ti je podobn\u00fd a to mu je teprve \u010dtvrt roku<\/em>“ usuzuju, \u017ee de zase o prachy.<\/p>\n

2. Achjo. \u017de j\u00e1 si nenechal podv\u00e1zat ch\u00e1movody hned jak sem zjistil \u017ee n\u011bjak\u00fd existujou. Na to te\u010f budu do smrti dopl\u00e1cet.<\/p>\n

3. Tvoje nechutn\u011b agiln\u00ed matka nav\u00edc po\u017eaduje, abych j\u00ed zaslal n\u011bjak\u00e9 fotky ze sv\u00e9ho „\u010dtvrtroku<\/em>„, \u017ee by je r\u00e1da vz\u00e1jemn\u011b porovnala na tv\u00fdch pond\u011bln\u00edch \u010dtvrtnarozenin\u00e1ch. Barte, j\u00e1 ti fakt nev\u00edm, ale p\u0159ijde mi, \u017ee \u017e\u00e1dnej norm\u00e1ln\u00ed \u010dlov\u011bk neslav\u00ed narozeniny \u010dty\u0159ikr\u00e1t do roka, nato\u017e aby na to u\u010dil svoje d\u00edt\u011b. Tak\u017ee zva\u017euju, \u017ee na n\u00ed po\u0161lu soci\u00e1lku.<\/p>\n

4. \u00a0Kdy\u017e mluv\u00edme o narozenin\u00e1ch. Dnes je m\u00e1 tvoje teta Alfa, jak asi v\u00ed\u0161. \u00a0Napadlo m\u011b, \u017ee bych j\u00ed poslal n\u011bjak\u00e9 to p\u0159\u00e1n\u00ed „v\u0161eho nejlep\u0161\u00edho<\/em>„, ale mysl\u00edm, \u017ee mi po\u0159\u00e1d e\u0161t\u011b neodpustila fakt, \u017ee sem j\u00ed chr\u00e1pal se sestrou. Soud\u00edm to podle toho, \u017ee kdy\u017e sem byl te\u010f naposled na skok v Evrop\u011b, a zkou\u0161el sem j\u00ed zavolat, sice sem dos\u00e1hl toho, \u017ee to zvedla a zm\u011bnila sv\u016fj p\u0159edchoz\u00ed v\u00fdrok, ale pouze v rozsahu gramatick\u00e9 reformulace z p\u0159\u00edkazu na dotaz. Ano, m\u00edsto „Chc\u00edpni, ty ulhanej, nev\u011brnej, amor\u00e1ln\u00ed debile!<\/em>“ mi v telefonu zazn\u011blo „Tys e\u0161t\u011b nechc\u00edp, ty ulhanej, nev\u011brnej, amor\u00e1ln\u00ed debile?“<\/em>. Tak asi tak.<\/p>\n

5. P\u0159emej\u0161l\u00edm, co by se s tebou dalo d\u011blat dobr\u00e9ho. Teda a\u017e dosp\u011bje\u0161, \u017eejo. Moje sestra, (sv\u011bte div, se, n\u011bkdo j\u00ed zam\u011bstnal<\/a>, te\u010f u\u017e se m\u016f\u017ee st\u00e1t fakt cokoliv<\/em>) tvrd\u00ed, \u017ee m\u00edt dal\u0161\u00edho chlapa v rodin\u011b je prima. P\u0159em\u00fd\u0161l\u00edm, k \u010demu tak to asi pro n\u00ed m\u016f\u017ee b\u00fdt prima. Jedin\u00e9 co m\u011b napad\u00e1 je, \u017ee spol\u00e9h\u00e1 na to, \u017ee a\u017e zhebnu (a \u017ee si to n\u011bkte\u0159\u00ed p\u0159ej\u00ed v\u00edc ne\u017e jin\u00ed je zjevn\u00e9<\/em>), bude se teoreticky m\u00edt komu dal\u0161\u00edmu pov\u011bsit na krk? Ale to aby t\u011b n\u011bkdo vychoval k \u00fact\u011b k bli\u017e\u00edn\u00edmu sv\u00e9mu a st\u00e1\u0159\u00ed. A to si nejsem jist\u00fd, \u017ee se tv\u00e9 nezveden\u011b manipulativn\u00ed matce povede.<\/p>\n

6. \u017de bych tedy zakro\u010dil j\u00e1 s\u00e1m?<\/p>\n

7. Napadlo m\u011b, \u017ee a\u017e bude\u0161 trochu star\u0161\u00ed, moh bych t\u011b nau\u010dit zahradni\u010dit (p\u0159edpokl\u00e1d\u00e1m, \u017ee se to do t\u00e9 doby nau\u010d\u00edm s\u00e1m<\/em>) abych a\u017e budu m\u00edt na star\u00fd kolena ta hyacintov\u00e1 pole na Kub\u011b, a budu na n\u011b koukat ze sv\u00e9 p\u0159\u00edmo\u0159sk\u00e9 haciendy, v p\u0159est\u00e1vk\u00e1ch mezi po\u0161\u0148up\u00e1v\u00e1n\u00edm koksu svoj\u00ed titanovou p\u0159ep\u00e1\u017ekou<\/a>, \u00a0mi m\u011bl kdo ty kytky ope\u010dov\u00e1vat s opravdovou l\u00e1skou a p\u00e9\u010d\u00ed. O kter\u00e9 mi jist\u00ed jedinci tvrd\u00ed, \u017ee se d\u00e1 naj\u00edt pouze mezi p\u0159\u00edbuzn\u00fdmi. No nev\u00edm, p\u0159ijde mi, \u017ee za dostatek pen\u011bz bude l\u00e1sku a p\u00e9\u010di stejn\u011b kvalitn\u011b (ne-li kvalitn\u011bji<\/em>) p\u0159edst\u00edrat kter\u00fdkoliv Fidel\u016fv noshled. Ale zv\u00e1\u017e\u00edm to, to je jasn\u00e9.<\/p>\n

8. Co jin\u00e9ho, ne\u017e-li bezplatnou pracovn\u00ed s\u00edlu a ods\u00e1va\u010de rodinn\u00e9ho jm\u011bn\u00ed bych z tebe mohl m\u00edt? To je asi ta nejv\u011bt\u0161\u00ed z\u00e1hada, na kterou nezn\u00e1m odpov\u011b\u010f. Dnes v pr\u00e1ci se m\u011b klient zeptal, jak by to dopadlo, kdyby Belgick\u00fd ob\u010dan byl v Argentin\u011b zadr\u017een Americk\u00fdm p\u0159\u00edslu\u0161n\u00edkem CIA pro zlo\u010din, kter\u00fd sp\u00e1chal v \u010c\u00edn\u011b, proti Malajsk\u00fdm ute\u010denc\u016fm, \u00a0za pou\u017eit\u00ed prost\u0159edk\u016f poch\u00e1zej\u00edc\u00edch z neleg\u00e1ln\u00edch obchod\u016f v Rusku, ale udr\u017eovan\u00fdch ve \u0160v\u00fdcarsku bankou, kter\u00e1 m\u00e1 \u010d\u00e1ste\u010dn\u011b americk\u00e9ho vlastn\u00edka. \u00a0Odpov\u011b\u010f m\u011b n\u011bjakou tu du\u0161evn\u00ed snahu st\u00e1la, to p\u0159izn\u00e1m. Ale v porovn\u00e1n\u00ed s t\u00edm, jak se nyn\u00ed lopot\u00edm nad ot\u00e1zkou „co s tebou<\/em>?“ je to po\u0159\u00e1d jednohubka v mo\u0159i dvan\u00e1ctichodov\u00e9 ve\u010de\u0159e v restauraci Septime v Pa\u0159\u00ed\u017ei.<\/p>\n

9. Tak ti nev\u00edm. Tvoje matka se pokusila prorazit moji nechu\u0165 k tomu se o tebe starat (n\u011bjak jinak ne\u017e finan\u010dn\u011b<\/em>) t\u00edm, \u017ee mi poslala n\u011bkolik video-klip\u016f s tebou jako \u00fast\u0159edn\u00edm bodem. A tvrd\u00ed, \u017ee se tam usm\u00edv\u00e1\u0161. Nechci ti kazit \u017eivot, ale hodn\u011b douf\u00e1m, \u017ee si ve sv\u00fdch 18cti letech dorostl do \u010dlov\u011bka, kter\u00fd u\u017e m\u00e1 m\u00e9n\u011b retardovan\u00fd \u00fasm\u011bv, ne\u017e co sem \u00a0u n\u011bj vid\u011bl doposavad. Pokud ne, siln\u011b ti doporu\u010duju se na nikoho neusm\u00edvat, nebo urychlen\u011b vyhledat \u0161ikovn\u00e9ho plastick\u00e9ho chirurga. Koneckonc\u016f v roce 2031 u\u017e by zm\u011bna ksichtu m\u011bl bejt fakt rutinn\u00ed z\u00e1krok. \u00a0K tvejm \u010dtvrtnarozenin\u00e1m sem dokonce ochotnej ti ho v budoucnu zaplatit. Nejsem p\u0159eci tyran, abych vlastn\u00edho syna nutil \u017e\u00edt s krtkoksichtem.<\/p>\n

10. Tenhle dopis m\u011bl zn\u00edt l\u00e1skypln\u011b a sm\u00ed\u0159liv\u011b. Pokud tomu tak z tv\u00e9ho pohledu nen\u00ed, tak v\u011bz, \u017ee snaha byla. A abys nemyslel, \u017ee sem \u00fapln\u011b ze \u017eeleza, tak tedy: happy fucking \u010dtvrt- birthday.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

1. Synu, tak prej ti v pond\u011bl\u00ed budou 3 m\u011bs\u00edce. Netu\u0161il sem, \u017ee to je n\u011b\u010d\u00edm v\u00fdznamn\u00e9, ale podle po\u010dtu smsek, ve kter\u00fdch mi to tvoje matka sd\u011bluje, a mmsek, kde je zachycenej tv\u016fj st\u00e1le je\u0161t\u011b krtkokrysu nejv\u00edc p\u0159ipom\u00ednaj\u00edc\u00ed ksicht, s dov\u011btky „pod\u00edvej jak ti je podobn\u00fd a to mu je teprve \u010dtvrt roku“ usuzuju, … Pokra\u010dov\u00e1n\u00ed textu Krutom\u00fdval: Mil\u00fd Syn\u00e1tore (VII)<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_editorskit_title_hidden":false,"_editorskit_reading_time":0,"_editorskit_is_block_options_detached":false,"_editorskit_block_options_position":"{}"},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/685"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=685"}],"version-history":[{"count":20,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/685\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":705,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/685\/revisions\/705"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=685"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=685"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=685"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}