{"id":744,"date":"2014-03-26T20:55:54","date_gmt":"2014-03-26T19:55:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/?p=744"},"modified":"2014-03-26T20:58:35","modified_gmt":"2014-03-26T19:58:35","slug":"krutomyval-chlapovi-na-hodinky-nesahat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/?p=744","title":{"rendered":"Krutom\u00fdval: chlapovi na hodinky ne\u0161ahat!"},"content":{"rendered":"

1. \u00a0Nev\u00edm jak to m\u00e1te vy, ale j\u00e1 sem \u0161\u00edlen\u011b \u00a0\u0161patnej vst\u00e1va\u010d. Bez funce „snooze<\/em>“ bych nemohl v \u017eivot\u011b existovat. A bez toho, abych nem\u011bl na sv\u00fdch Vintage Navitimer Breitlinzich (hodinky)<\/em> o sedm minut nav\u00edc, bych taky asi nikdy nikam nep\u0159i\u0161el v\u010das. A j\u00e1 chod\u00edm v\u010das r\u00e1d.<\/p>\n

2. Za toho p\u016fldruh\u00fdho roku, co sem v USA (a mus\u00edm tedy r\u00e1no vst\u00e1vat)<\/em> a co m\u00e1m hodinky a nos\u00edm je o sedm minut nap\u0159ed, by si \u010dlov\u011bk mohl \u0159\u00edct, \u017ee si moje mysl na to n\u011bjak zvykne a bude s t\u011bma sedmi minutama prost\u011b u\u017e po\u010d\u00edtat a budu stejn\u011b chodit v\u0161ude pozd\u011b.<\/p>\n

3. Ale ono to tak nen\u00ed. \u00a0Asi proto, \u017ee j\u00e1 kdy\u017e mus\u00edm r\u00e1no vst\u00e1vat, tak sem tak grogy, \u017ee prost\u011b m\u016fj mozek nem\u00e1 n\u00e1ladu ani schopnosti na nic jin\u00e9ho, ne\u017e se prob\u00edrat dv\u011bma my\u0161lenkama: 1. pro\u010d kua mus\u00edm vst\u00e1vat a 2. jakej sem kret\u00e9n, \u017ee sem zas ne\u0161el sp\u00e1t do 4 do r\u00e1na a proto te\u010f tak trp\u00edm.<\/p>\n

4. Na nic jin\u00e9ho nem\u00e1m r\u00e1no, ne\u017e se doplaz\u00edm do sprchy nebo aspo\u0148 d\u00e1m hlavu pod vodu, kapacitu. \u00a0Za r\u00e1no pova\u017euju cokoliv mezi 6tou a 10tou dopoledne. P\u0159ed \u0161estou r\u00e1no je to toti\u017e e\u0161t\u011b noc, kdy teprve du sp\u00e1t a po des\u00e1t\u00e9 u\u017e je to faktick\u00fd den, a to sem schopnej vst\u00e1t. Ale mezit\u00edm sem tuhej, a dokonce i na sex sem ochotnej se probudit jen pokud pak m\u016f\u017eu e\u0161t\u011b sp\u00e1t nebo se ode m\u011b aspo\u0148 nevy\u017eaduje \u017e\u00e1dn\u00e1 aktivita, v\u010detn\u011b toho, co bol\u00ed por\u00e1nu nejv\u00edc – otev\u00edr\u00e1n\u00ed o\u010d\u00ed.<\/p>\n

5. \u00a0No a proto\u017ee j\u00e1 nejsem nikdy schopnej dodr\u017eet pl\u00e1novanej rann\u00ed rozvrh (mysl\u00edm u vst\u00e1v\u00e1n\u00ed, u sexu to neprodlu\u017euju nad pot\u0159ebn\u00e9 3 minuty, to je jasn\u00e9)<\/em> \u00a0to sedmiminutov\u00e9 posunut\u00ed minutovky funguje jako mal\u00fd z\u00e1zrak a nechod\u00edm d\u00edky n\u011bmu t\u00e9m\u011b\u0159 nikdy pozd\u011b. Teda nad r\u00e1mec takov\u00e9ho zpo\u017ed\u011bn\u00ed, kter\u00e9 sem si dop\u0159edu stanovil.<\/p>\n

6. Bud\u00edk na telefonu mi v pracovn\u00ed dny za\u010dne v\u0159e\u0161t\u011bt v 8:28. \u00a0V pr\u00e1ci bych sice teoreticky m\u011bl b\u00fdt od 8:30 ale to j\u00e1 prost\u011b nedok\u00e1\u017eu, tak\u017ee m\u00ed\u0159\u00edm na realisti\u010dt\u011bj\u0161\u00edch 10:24.\u00a0V 8:28 teda za\u010dne houkat telefon. Na to konto j\u00e1 za\u010dnu d\u011bsn\u011b vzdychat, sakrovat a p\u0159em\u00fd\u0161let nad okam\u017eitou v\u00fdpov\u011bd\u00ed, nebo sebevra\u017edou. Po asi p\u016flminut\u011b nahmat\u00e1m telefon a zm\u00e1\u010dknu odklad bud\u00edku o p\u011bt minut a \u00a0zase upadnu do k\u00f3matu.<\/p>\n

7. Tohle se opakuje ob p\u011bt minut tak do 9:13. Pak v\u00fd\u010ditky sv\u011bdom\u00ed a fakt, \u017ee u\u017e takhle sem notoricky zn\u00e1m\u00fd jako nejv\u011bt\u0161\u00ed fl\u00e1ka\u010d ve firm\u011b, a to nejen co se p\u0159\u00edchodu a odchodu t\u00fd\u010de (p\u0159ich\u00e1z\u00edm kolem p\u016fl jeden\u00e1ct\u00e9, odch\u00e1z\u00edm v p\u011bt nula dva)<\/em> zp\u016fsob\u00ed \u017ee si za\u010d\u00edn\u00e1m \u00a0myslet, \u017ee by mi to nemuselo proch\u00e1zet nav\u011bky a bylo by tedy dobr\u00e9 bu\u010f d\u00e1t tu v\u00fdpov\u011b\u010f, nebo vst\u00e1t.<\/p>\n

8. Nad t\u00edm p\u0159em\u00fd\u0161l\u00edm v\u011bt\u0161inou tak e\u0161t\u011b 7 minut. A pak teprv za\u010dnu fakt vst\u00e1vat. Proto\u017ee od des\u00edti t\u0159iceti se \u010dasto st\u00e1v\u00e1, \u017ee na m\u011b p\u0159ed kancel\u00e1\u0159\u00ed stoj\u00ed fronta klient\u016f a nerv\u00f3zn\u00ed sekret\u00e1\u0159ka u\u017e si nem\u00e1 co vym\u00fd\u0161let, pro\u010d tam nejsem.<\/p>\n

9. A j\u00e1 nerad chod\u00edm pozd\u011b.\u00a0\u00a0No tak\u017ee teda vstanu z postele a za hlasit\u00e9ho sku\u010den\u00ed a nad\u00e1v\u00e1n\u00ed se sunu do koupelny. \u00a0A pak m\u011b \u010dek\u00e1: 2 minuty \u010di\u0161t\u011bn\u00ed zub\u016f, 1 minuta z\u00e1chod, 4 minuty sprcha, 3 minuty holen\u00ed, \u00a09 minut nad\u00e1v\u00e1n\u00ed na to kam mi ukl\u00edze\u010dka dala tu novou ko\u0161ili, co sem si cht\u011bl vz\u00edt na sebe a pro\u010d k n\u00ed nen\u00ed ta spr\u00e1vn\u00e1 kravata na sv\u00e9m m\u00edst\u011b, 3 minuty obl\u00e9k\u00e1n\u00ed, 30 sekund poj\u00edd\u00e1n\u00ed\/pop\u00edjen\u00ed n\u011bjak\u00fdch \u017eivotabudi\u010d\u016f, 5 minut pravideln\u00e9ho hled\u00e1n\u00ed sluch\u00e1tek, a je to, sem ready. Hodinky si nasazuju a\u017e jako posledn\u00ed. A pravideln\u011b me v\u017edycky vyd\u011bs\u00ed, kolik na nich je a zrychl\u00edm ch\u016fzi nebo j\u00edzdu do pr\u00e1ce na maximum. V\u00fdsledek? Doraz\u00edm tak, \u017ee prvn\u00ed jedn\u00e1n\u00ed st\u00edh\u00e1m na minutu p\u0159esn\u011b.<\/p>\n

10. To ov\u0161em jen za podm\u00ednky, \u017ee mi Zlatomu\u0161ka, co u m\u011b ob\u010das p\u0159esp\u00e1v\u00e1, z dobr\u00e9 v\u016fle neposune hodinky na „spr\u00e1vn\u00fd“ \u010das, proto\u017ee si v\u0161imla, \u017ee se zm\u011bnil o hodinu \u010das, tak abych n\u011bkam nep\u0159i\u0161el pozd\u011b nebo brzy. \u00a0Co\u017e mi ud\u011blala asi p\u0159ed dv\u011bma t\u00fddny, kdy\u017e se tu ze soboty na ned\u011bli zm\u011bnil \u010das. A ne\u0159ekla mi to. A proto\u017ee na v\u0161em jin\u00e9m se mi zm\u011bnil \u010das automaticky, v\u016fbec sem se o tom nedozv\u011bd\u011bl, \u017eejo. \u00a0Tak\u017ee kdy\u017e sem si to dnes p\u0159ihasil do pr\u00e1ce s pocitem, \u017ee a\u010dkoliv m\u00e1m od \u00a010:30 jedn\u00e1n\u00ed s auditorama (fuj<\/em>), v\u0161e je ok, p\u0159esto\u017ee moje hodinky ukazuj\u00ed 10:34, dost m\u011b roztrp\u010dilo pozn\u00e1n\u00ed, \u017ee je fakt 10:34. Hrozn\u011b nerad toti\u017e chod\u00edm pozd\u011b, \u017eejo. Tak\u017ee kdy\u017e mi do\u0161lo, \u017ee se mi hrabala v hodink\u00e1ch, tak sem j\u00ed musel zavolat, abych j\u00ed po\u0159\u00e1dn\u011b vynadal. Jen\u017ee ona to zvedla s t\u00edm sv\u00fdm rozko\u0161n\u011b \u0161i\u0161lav\u00fdm „yes<\/em>“ (vysloveno v jej\u00edm pod\u00e1n\u00ed t\u00e9m\u011b\u0159 jako „\u0161je\u0161“)<\/em> a j\u00e1 sem p\u0159es svoj\u00ed okam\u017eitou erekci nebyl schopnej po\u0159\u00e1dn\u011b nad\u00e1vat. Ale jakmile j\u00ed p\u0159\u00ed\u0161t\u011b uvid\u00edm, tak si j\u00ed pod\u00e1m!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

1. \u00a0Nev\u00edm jak to m\u00e1te vy, ale j\u00e1 sem \u0161\u00edlen\u011b \u00a0\u0161patnej vst\u00e1va\u010d. Bez funce „snooze“ bych nemohl v \u017eivot\u011b existovat. A bez toho, abych nem\u011bl na sv\u00fdch Vintage Navitimer Breitlinzich (hodinky) o sedm minut nav\u00edc, bych taky asi nikdy nikam nep\u0159i\u0161el v\u010das. A j\u00e1 chod\u00edm v\u010das r\u00e1d. 2. Za toho p\u016fldruh\u00fdho roku, co sem v … Pokra\u010dov\u00e1n\u00ed textu Krutom\u00fdval: chlapovi na hodinky ne\u0161ahat!<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_editorskit_title_hidden":false,"_editorskit_reading_time":0,"_editorskit_is_block_options_detached":false,"_editorskit_block_options_position":"{}"},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/744"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=744"}],"version-history":[{"count":13,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/744\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":757,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/744\/revisions\/757"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=744"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=744"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=744"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}