{"id":924,"date":"2014-07-13T15:27:48","date_gmt":"2014-07-13T14:27:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/?p=924"},"modified":"2014-07-13T15:27:48","modified_gmt":"2014-07-13T14:27:48","slug":"krutomyval-bez-zeny-ze-doma-nepreziju-pche","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/?p=924","title":{"rendered":"Krutom\u00fdval: bez \u017eeny \u017ee doma nep\u0159e\u017eiju? Pche!"},"content":{"rendered":"

1. \u00a0Tak u\u017e sem zp\u00e1tky v nerodn\u00e9 ale dom\u00e1c\u00ed v\u00edsce v USA. Tuhle se u m\u011b stavil kamar\u00e1d Paul,\u00a0(jo, ten z FBI)<\/em>\u00a0a kdy\u017e jako slu\u0161n\u00fd host co p\u0159inesl l\u00e1hev, d\u00e1val fla\u0161ku vodky rovnou na mraz\u00e1k, trochu se uchichtl p\u0159i pohledu do m\u00e9 lednice.\u00a0\u00a0Ano, kdo \u010dekal, \u017ee tam budou potraviny, \u0161patn\u011b m\u011b zn\u00e1.\u00a0<\/p>\n

2. Byly tam akor\u00e1t dva pr\u00e1zdn\u00e9 \u0161pinav\u00e9 tal\u00ed\u0159e od \u010dehosi. Paul se m\u011b opatrn\u011b zeptal, pro\u010d tam sou. Chvilku sem zva\u017eoval, \u017ee si n\u011bco vymysl\u00edm, ale pak sem se rozhodl \u0159\u00edct pravdu: ukl\u00edze\u010dka p\u0159ijde a\u017e z\u00edtra, tedy logicky: do t\u00e9 doby \u0161pinav\u00e9 n\u00e1dob\u00ed \u010dek\u00e1 v lednici.<\/p>\n

3. Paul se dot\u00e1zal, pro\u010d ne\u010dek\u00e1 v my\u010dce. Tam mi to p\u0159ijde nehygienick\u00e9 a n\u00e1chyln\u00e9 k tomu aby se tam tvo\u0159ily bakterie, op\u00e1\u010dil sem.<\/p>\n

4. Paul m\u011bl tu drzost se zeptat „pro\u010d teda nespust\u00edm my\u010dku“<\/em>. Kdyby u sebe nem\u011bl zbra\u0148, nem\u011b\u0159il o deset \u010d\u00edsel v\u00edc ne\u017e j\u00e1 a nev\u011bd\u011bl bych \u017ee zrovna dod\u011blal dal\u0161\u00ed level BJJ, tak mu zasad\u00edm r\u00e1nu mal\u00edkovou hranou do ohryzku u\u017e po t\u00e9 druh\u00e9 ot\u00e1zce.
\n<\/em><\/p>\n

5. Takhle sem si akor\u00e1t nalil pan\u00e1ka (jeho sem vynechal, to m\u011bl za trest)<\/em>, posadil sem se a vysv\u011btlil sem mu, \u017ee na dom\u00e1c\u00ed pr\u00e1ce m\u00e1m slu\u017eku. P\u0159eci tedy nebudu d\u011blat dom\u00e1c\u00ed pr\u00e1ce. Co by pak d\u011blala slu\u017eka.<\/p>\n

6. Paul m\u011bl asi inkvizi\u010dn\u00ed n\u00e1ladu, proto\u017ee te\u010f ho zaj\u00edmalo, pro\u010d ty pr\u00e1ce ned\u011bl\u00e1 moje postelkyn\u011b Zlatomu\u0161ka, kter\u00e1 se u m\u011b stavuje cca 3x t\u00fddn\u011b a dokonce tu ob\u010das p\u0159esp\u00e1v\u00e1. Zaklepal sem si na \u010delo: jakmile po \u017eensk\u00fd za\u010dne\u0161 cht\u00edt dom\u00e1c\u00ed pr\u00e1ce, zleniv\u00ed ti v posteli. To je p\u0159eci zn\u00e1m\u00e1 v\u011bc. Tak\u017ee dokud mi bude apet\u00fdt nebo viagra slou\u017eit, tak d\u00e1m p\u0159ednost tomu, aby \u017eena m\u011bla dost energie na sexu\u00e1ln\u00ed radov\u00e1nky, p\u0159edt\u00edm ne\u017e abych m\u011bl v poli\u010dce \u010dist\u00e9 tal\u00ed\u0159e.<\/p>\n

7. \u00a0Paul m\u011bl pak n\u011bjakou \u0159e\u010d na t\u00e9ma, \u017ee \u00a0bych m\u011bl i p\u0159esto s\u00e1m participovat na dom\u00e1c\u00edch pracech, proto\u017ee „i to d\u011bl\u00e1 chlapa chlapem<\/em>„. Co to s n\u00edm ten den bylo? To nech\u00e1pu. M\u011bl snad kr\u00e1my?\u00a0Nicm\u00e9n\u011b druh\u00fd den sem teda \u0161el do sebe a \u0159ekl sem si \u017ee ok, ty dva \u0161pinav\u00e9 tal\u00ed\u0159e z ledni\u010dky vyhod\u00edm (ano, do ko\u0161e, kdo se s t\u00edm m\u00e1 d\u00e1vat do my\u010dky a u\u010dit se jak se spou\u0161t\u00ed my\u010dka)<\/em> a dokonce si S\u00c1M nakoup\u00edm n\u011bjak\u00e9 potraviny, aby v t\u00e9 lednici teda n\u011bco bylo.<\/p>\n

8. A proto\u017ee mi z\u00edtra bude 35, (Bo\u017ee je to v\u016fbec mo\u017en\u00e9? Nebylo mi je\u0161t\u011b p\u0159edev\u010d\u00edrem 29?!<\/em>) rozhodl sem se nakoupit si do lednice sam\u00e9 zdrav\u00e9 v\u011bci. Jako nap\u0159\u00edklad celer (abych nedostal rakovinu kone\u010dn\u00edku, kter\u00e1 mi prej za p\u00e1r let za\u010dne hrozit)<\/em> kef\u00edr (fuj, ale m\u00e1 bejt dobrej na imunitu)<\/em>, koz\u00ed s\u00fdr (nev\u00edm k \u010demu je p\u0159\u00edpadn\u011b zdravotn\u011b ale m\u011bl sem na n\u011bj chu\u0165)<\/em>, \u00a0a kokosov\u00fd olej, kterej je skv\u011blou prevenc\u00ed proti alsheimerovi, a toho taky nechci, \u017eejo. \u00a0Kdo by cht\u011bl.<\/p>\n

9. \u00a0Jeliko\u017e sem vyo\u017een\u011b studijn\u00ed typ, p\u0159e\u010detl sem si dop\u0159edu \u017ee ten spr\u00e1vn\u011bj druh kokosov\u00e9ho oleje m\u00e1 bejt „extra virgin“ (to se mi l\u00edbilo, nechci \u017e\u00e1dnej zprzn\u011bnej olej co dal ka\u017ed\u00fdmu)<\/em> a taky „lisovan\u00fd za studena“.\u00a0<\/em> Takovej sem v obchod\u011b nakonec na\u0161el, tak\u017ee sem to d\u00e1l nezkoumal, koupil ho a \u0161el domu.<\/p>\n

10. Doma si teda vynd\u00e1m kef\u00edr, otev\u0159u kokosovej olej, a p\u0159ekvap\u00ed m\u011b, \u017ee nen\u00ed tekut\u00fd. Je to norm\u00e1ln\u011b tuh\u00fd jak s\u00e1dlo. Co te\u010f s t\u00edm? Hodil sem to do kel\u00edmku s kef\u00edrem a po\u0159\u00e1dn\u011b to prot\u0159epal, v nad\u011bji, \u017ee se to samo rozpadne. Nikolv\u011bk. Zakvedlal sem do toho vidli\u010dkou, \u017ee to jako rozm\u00edch\u00e1m. Taky ne. Napadla m\u011b mikrovlnka ale n\u011bco mi \u0159\u00edkalo, \u017ee ty zdravotn\u00ed \u00fa\u010dinky kef\u00edru v t\u00fd mikrovlnce asi zabiju. Tak sem chvilku prost\u011b jedl l\u017ei\u010dkou kef\u00edr s kusama kokosov\u00fdho s\u00e1dla, ne\u017e mi p\u0159i\u0161lo \u017ee to je moc debiln\u00ed, a vr\u00e1til sem se ke star\u00fdmu zp\u016fsobu \u017eivota. Tedy hrnek se zbytkama kef\u00edru a kokos\u00e1dla sem dal do ledni\u010dky, aby se s t\u00edm vypo\u0159\u00e1dala ukl\u00edze\u010dka, nalil sem si vodku, a \u0161el se d\u00edvat na porno do t\u00fd doby, ne\u017e p\u0159i\u0161la Zlatomu\u0161ka. A \u017eivot zase d\u00e1val smysl.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

1. \u00a0Tak u\u017e sem zp\u00e1tky v nerodn\u00e9 ale dom\u00e1c\u00ed v\u00edsce v USA. Tuhle se u m\u011b stavil kamar\u00e1d Paul,\u00a0(jo, ten z FBI)\u00a0a kdy\u017e jako slu\u0161n\u00fd host co p\u0159inesl l\u00e1hev, d\u00e1val fla\u0161ku vodky rovnou na mraz\u00e1k, trochu se uchichtl p\u0159i pohledu do m\u00e9 lednice.\u00a0\u00a0Ano, kdo \u010dekal, \u017ee tam budou potraviny, \u0161patn\u011b m\u011b zn\u00e1.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_editorskit_title_hidden":false,"_editorskit_reading_time":0,"_editorskit_is_block_options_detached":false,"_editorskit_block_options_position":"{}"},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/924"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=924"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/924\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":932,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/924\/revisions\/932"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=924"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=924"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=924"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}