{"id":965,"date":"2014-08-12T21:03:59","date_gmt":"2014-08-12T20:03:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/?p=965"},"modified":"2014-08-12T21:08:07","modified_gmt":"2014-08-12T20:08:07","slug":"krutomyval-vazte-si-sveho-zubare","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/?p=965","title":{"rendered":"Krutom\u00fdval: va\u017ete si sv\u00e9ho zuba\u0159e!"},"content":{"rendered":"

1. V z\u00e1chvatu radosti z toho, \u017ee se mi povedlo vydr\u017eet skoro 3 t\u00fddny st\u0159\u00edzlivej sem se (pot\u00e9 co mi v\u010dera byly doru\u010deny v\u00fdsledky testu na drogy, podle kterejch sem \u010distej jako mimino<\/em>) pekeln\u011b vo\u017eral a sjel do n\u011bmoty.<\/p>\n

2. B\u00e1je\u010dnej ve\u010der, to v\u00e1m \u0159eknu.<\/p>\n

3. Teda \u0159ekl bych, kdybych si z n\u011bj n\u011bco po\u0159\u00e1dn\u011b pamatoval.<\/p>\n

4. V hlav\u011b m\u00e1m jen takov\u00e9 oka-m\u017eiky, problesk\u00e1vaj\u00edc\u00ed mi mysl\u00ed jako st\u0159\u00edpky n\u011bjak\u00e9 psycho-mozaiky, ze kter\u00e9 tr\u010d\u00ed tu a tam n\u011b\u010d\u00ed nohy v podvazc\u00edch, jinde zase odlesk p\u00f3dia na kter\u00e9m zlitej fale\u0161n\u011b zp\u00edv\u00e1m Sealovo \u00a0„Kiss from a Rose“ na uct\u011bn\u00ed pam\u00e1tky Robina Williamse, kv\u016fli kter\u00e9mu v\u011bt\u0161ina comedy club\u016f v\u010dera vyhl\u00e1sila pietn\u00ed smutek, proto\u017ee komik\u016fm se necht\u011blo ten den \u017eertovat.<\/p>\n

5. Co se d\u011blo zhruba od dvou r\u00e1no, co sem se vypot\u00e1cel z Fat Black Pussey Cat, si bohu\u017eel fakt nepamatuju.<\/p>\n

6. Ale to co v\u00edm jist\u011b je, \u017ee sem r\u00e1no na\u0161el jeden ze sv\u00fdch zub\u016f v kapse saka. Co\u017e m\u011b p\u0159ekvapilo, proto\u017ee naposled co si ho pamatuju byl p\u011bkn\u011b na sv\u00e9m m\u00edst\u011b v m\u00e9 hub\u011b.<\/p>\n

7. Dot\u00e1zal sem se n\u011bkolika kump\u00e1n\u016f co uct\u00edvali Robina Williamse v\u010dera se mnou, jestli maj\u00ed potuchy pro\u010d m\u00e1m zuby v kapse, a \u010dekal sem n\u011bjakou heroickou zkazku o tom, jak sem se zase n\u011bkde porval (a vyhr\u00e1l)<\/em>. Bohu\u017eel tomu tak nebylo. P\u0159i vystupov\u00e1n\u00ed z tax\u00edku sem pr\u00fd \u0161l\u00e1pl blb\u011b na obrubn\u00edk a hodil tlamu dr\u017ekou do odpadkov\u00fdho ko\u0161e. Kterej byl zalitej v betonu, tak\u017ee sem si o n\u011bj jeden zub zcela vyrazil a druhej nak\u0159\u00e1p.<\/p>\n

8. Kamar\u00e1d byl natolik laskavej, \u017ee mi navrhoval, \u017ee m\u011b odveze do nemocnice, ale to sem pr\u00fd odm\u00edtl. Tak mi aspo\u0148 sebral ten jeden zub a dal mi ho do kapsy. To je hodnej. M\u011bl bych mu pod\u011bkovat.<\/p>\n

9. Ale samoz\u0159ejm\u011b dneska sem hlavn\u011b \u0161el k zuba\u0159i. \u00a0Poprv\u00e9 v USA. Sebral sem si svou ura\u017eenou doln\u00ed trojku nebo co to je a do\u0161el s n\u00ed k l\u00e9ka\u0159i, co m\u00e1 smlouvu s moj\u00ed poji\u0161\u0165ovnou.<\/p>\n

10. A jak se uk\u00e1zalo, sv\u011bt je fakt nespravedlivej. \u00a0Sice nejsem takovej kret\u00e9n, abych doktorovi \u0159\u00edkal, jak se mi to p\u0159ihodilo, proto\u017ee v\u00edm, \u017ee v obchodn\u00edch podm\u00ednk\u00e1ch poji\u0161t\u011bn\u00ed je, \u017ee \u00fakony kter\u00e9 navazuj\u00ed na dobrovoln\u00e9 se uveden\u00ed do stavu nep\u0159\u00ed\u010detnosti d\u00edky drog\u00e1m nebo alkoholu, poji\u0161\u0165ovna nehrad\u00ed, ale stejn\u011b m\u011b zuba\u0159 nepot\u011b\u0161il. \u00a0Na\u0161t\u011bst\u00ed velkou \u010d\u00e1st toho \u00fakonu by m\u011bla poji\u0161\u0165ovna c\u00e1lovat. Ale ten zbytek je na m\u011b. A v\u00edte co ty svin\u011b kapitalistick\u00fd tady cht\u011bj za jednu opravu nak\u0159\u00e1pl\u00e9 jedni\u010dky a n\u00e1hradu vyra\u017een\u00e9 trojky? 95 tis\u00edc. Tak\u017ee sem se \u00a0na n\u011b p\u011bkn\u011b tou \u0161kv\u00edrou usm\u00e1l, \u0159ekl \u017ee thanks, but no thanks, a pr\u00e1v\u011b si bookuju letenku do Prahy za 15, kde mi zuby sprav\u00ed za 25. E\u0161t\u011b \u017ee sem si tam zapomn\u011bl zru\u0161it poji\u0161t\u011bn\u00ed!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

1. V z\u00e1chvatu radosti z toho, \u017ee se mi povedlo vydr\u017eet skoro 3 t\u00fddny st\u0159\u00edzlivej sem se (pot\u00e9 co mi v\u010dera byly doru\u010deny v\u00fdsledky testu na drogy, podle kterejch sem \u010distej jako mimino) pekeln\u011b vo\u017eral a sjel do n\u011bmoty. 2. B\u00e1je\u010dnej ve\u010der, to v\u00e1m \u0159eknu. 3. Teda \u0159ekl bych, kdybych si z n\u011bj n\u011bco po\u0159\u00e1dn\u011b … Pokra\u010dov\u00e1n\u00ed textu Krutom\u00fdval: va\u017ete si sv\u00e9ho zuba\u0159e!<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_editorskit_title_hidden":false,"_editorskit_reading_time":0,"_editorskit_is_block_options_detached":false,"_editorskit_block_options_position":"{}"},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/965"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=965"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/965\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":968,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/965\/revisions\/968"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=965"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=965"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.krutomyval.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=965"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}